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Smart, Sassy and Southern…

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While the rest of the world was watching the Super Bowl, I was watching one of my favorite football movies- The Blind Side starring Alabama’s own Sandra Bullock who portrays a Smart, Sassy and Southern lady. I have known ladies just like the character she portrays. It would be a mistake to think all southern women are proper southern belles. Some are smart, sassy and frankly sensational, the kind I remember folks calling a ‘Pistol Ball’ or a ‘Spitfire’. This is the type of woman who may have grown up working at her daddy’s truck stop. Before she was 13, she insisted on adding showers, a cafeteria, a gift shop and her daddy was making a huge profit to boot- enough to buy up several other truck stops, join the Jaycees and have the local country club open their arms wide to welcome him, his money and his sweet wife. His  lovely daughter moved through that country club like a hot pink Mack truck with shiny chrome wheels, she could charm the horns off a billy goat, the kind of girl that hiked up her ballgown-chased the boys and made them cry.  A Smart, Sassy Southern girl has an uncanny ability to wear high heels, walk and chew gum at the same time. This southern girl generally errs on the flashy side of good taste, pops her gum and honks her horn at anyone who would dare get in her way. She literally invented the concept of multitasking – why by the time she’s grown and married- she can:

  • Organize the garden club by botanical assets,
  • Get all of the costumes finished in time for the holiday programs,
  • Decorate her home,
  • Practically runs her husband’s office,
  • Makes sure it doesn’t rain a drop on the Annual Bake Sale.

She wears the most stunning ball gowns, is the most outrageous flirt, dances every single dance, but when the ball is over it’s time to take off her dancing shoes and get back to work. She knows more about football than her sweet daddy, her husband and the coaches- especially if she has a son on the field! It’s a sight to behold watching her chew out the referees and leave them feeling like they’ve been charmed by a rattlesnake. And they like it- Men love Smart, Sassy Southern ladies.

  • She’s confident, doesn’t try to hide her assets and uses them to her best advantage.
  • She’s territorial.
  • She still looks online to see if some Yankee is trying to sell the family silver.
  • She rarely forgives a wrong, has a long memory and a short temper- but somehow comes off as a Sassy Southern Lady with a soft underbelly for the downtrodden and poor.
  • She has high standards and doesn’t mind imposing them on others.
  • She has an exaggerated concept of Justice, if you know what I mean.
  • She’s opinionated.
  • She uses colorful language when and if it will drive home her point in an exceptionally charming way.
  • She can drive a pickup or a Mercedes with equal ease- maneuver might be a better way for how she drives and how she lives her life.

She can play three sets of tennis in all white or tramp through the woods to kill those pesky wild boars with relish. I know, I’ve tasted the jerky she made from that wild boar, and by the way she gets so sick and tired of alligators sunning on her pier at the bay house- her morning routine is target practice. Sometimes I think her ancestors were the ones who captured and locked up poor ol’ Geronimo when he spent some time locked up in Fort Morgan, Alabama!  She loves beach music, big sunglasses, designer jeans- on the tight side of course and has a tendency to wear more gold than Fort Knox. Having her hair and nails done isn’t a luxury – it’s a necessity. Chances are she married a man who made it big in:

  • Trucking,
  • Construction,
  • Logging, Excavating or
  • has his own chain of Auto Parts Stores.
  • He might seem like a tough guy at work but at home? He simply throws up his hands and says ‘Whatever you decide to do is fine with me.’

Smart, Sassy and Southern ladies never make a serious habit of waiting on dreams to come true- they go out, takes risks and knows where life is happening. She will not be on the sidelines, unless she’s cheering the longest and loudest for her boys.

She’s the most passionate deep red Camellia in the bunch and will always be a smart, sassy southern girl through and through. I hope you meet at least one in your lifetime.

Love y’all, Camellia

The Blind Side by Warner Brothers is available through Amazon.com and other major retailers of DVD’s. The production photograph of award winning actress-Sandra Bullock in her role in the Blind Side- may be subject to copyright. the-blind-side

Photographs of red camellias which are in bloom now and are mine!   In addition to being an area where big bay houses are located-the actual Fort Morgan by Mobile Bay, Alabama was the site of many things including holding the famous American Indian Chief Geronimo for a brief period of time. *Bold Quote is taken from:

‘Never allow waiting to become a habit. Chase your dreams and take risks. Life is happening now.’ Author Unknown

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Imaginary Southern Party…

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Southern Party Food, just those three words conjure up delight. I’m not sure why I haven’t had more parties. I think I might regret it one day. I have helped with quite a few Southern Parties, but ‘at-our-house-parties’ have mostly been given for the now all-grown-up children. I do however, plan quite a few Imaginary Southern Parties. Sometimes, I will dream of having a table groaning with pick up food hearty enough for the men but in dainty portions for the ladies. Maybe I will have a neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt, with big containers of jelly beans and foil covered chocolate eggs, a bakery cake with all of that icing, big decorated sugar cookies and Pre-School Punch! Or perhaps I will do something unexpected like have a Build Your Own Shrimp and Grits Party– with all of the extras,

  • grated cheeses, chopped green onions, diced bell peppers,
  • pickled sliced jalapenos, diced ham, halved cherry tomatoes,
  • crisp crumbled bacon, fried okra, maybe even slices of Conecuh County Sausage and of course Tabasco®!

I would add baskets of corn muffins, tiny biscuits and cheese crackers alongside a big platter of fresh fruit. And Oh! the stories that will be told! I love the one about a high ranking military man who impersonated Elvis to entertain the troops! I will have a piano and a fair haired young man whose slender fingers softly play familiar tunes like Summer Time, the Tennessee Waltz or Broadway show tunes; perhaps a lady crowned with a cloud of white hair wearing Red Revival® Lipstick  will drape herself across the piano singing low and slow.  Maybe some of the guests will sway. I’m sure there will be a tall dark handsome man eating a slice of Mimi’s Pound Cake who insults me by saying his mother’s Cream Cheese Pound Cake was better, but I won’t care, after all a man should love his momma’s pound cake best. When the Beauties arrive, lacquered and sleek with twinkling eyes and big wide smiles, the men will hear- ‘Hey good lookin’ – what ya got cookin’ , then they will exclaim over every Brown Eyed Handsome Man. No matter how old we get- Southern ladies love to flirt and flatter. Outrageous stories will be told and re-told, followed by bursts of laughter. Perhaps there will be a jigsaw puzzle set up by a window and every now and then someone will pause to see if they can find solve a piece or two. The dessert table will have a big bowl of Banana Pudding, Pound Cake with Sugared Strawberries and fresh whipped cream standing by; there might be bite size tarts like our famous Pecan Pies. Coffee will be served to those who want it. Small groups will form and a few secrets shared. By the time the party is over, spirits will have been lifted and later we will say- ‘A good time was had by all.’   These are the Southern Parties of my Imagination. We used to call these- At Homes.  img_2098

Southern Party Food is like none other. It can be quick and easy or so complicated even Escoffier wouldn’t be able to pull it off! The best place to start when planning a party in the South is to weasel recipes from the best local cooks or find them in local and regional cookbooks. Southern cookbooks always tickle me, set my tastebuds tingling and are the cookbooks which fire up my imagination, especially the local Church or Junior League Cookbooks. I went on a tear recently and ordered about a half dozen cookbooks which had been on my wish list for years. I always start at the beginning, just like a best selling novel. I read the prologues, I scan the names of the contributors, the auxiliary, or officers. Then I imagine them planning  in soft southern drawls.

  • ‘Now Betty Gene, don’t forget to include that Pre-school Punch you always submit for the Beverage section- we can’t have the teetotalers out there thinkin’ we’re all a bunch of winos’ – or
  • ‘Tammy Faye, now you know we can’t put together this cookbook without your Great Aunt Mary Sue’s recipe for Cheese Souffle, I know she never made them herself but she guarded that recipe like it was pure gold- which, to be honest it was.’
  • Gaynelle, now we must have the recipe for your Sunday Roast Beef and Horseradish Sauce- it won’t be complete without it.’

I am forever amazed at how much drama there is in a single cookbook- recipes which are not for the faint of heart- like Fried Rabbit wherein we must leave to our imagination just who shot that rabbit and where- but the dainty lady who submits it makes sure that you rinse it well- making sure there is no hare in it- uh I mean hair, that all the leaves are rinsed out of the cavity – and ‘Oh my! get the saltbox out to kill the bacteria! I love to dream up scenarios for these formal little ladies who use their husband’s names. These cookbooks bring my Imaginary Southern Parties a special flair. Recipes warn or designate that some dishes are ‘Chafing Dish’ and some are to be served Hot, Chilled or Room Temperature. The Beverages are an amazing array- one Party Punch left me wondering if you would have to use a big galvanized tub to make it up – I’ve changed it up a bit with fond memories of Pre-School Graduation parties, but not the quantities so you can see what I mean!

Pre-School Punch

  • 1/2 Gallon of Pineapple Sherbet, 1/2 Gallon of Lime Sherbet,
  • 4 -28 oz. bottles of ginger ale – chilled, 1- 28 oz. bottle of soda- chilled,
  • 1- 48 oz. can of pineapple juice- chilled,
  • 1- 16 oz. jar of maraschino cherries, 1 quart of sliced fresh strawberries.

Mix all ingredients together. Stir and Serve. Yields two punch bowls. *Now, I ask you what size container would you need to stir and serve all of that for two punch bowls??? I can tell you now it would be slopped all over the place if I was making it! However you can take it from me- this punch is famous! I think if the recipe is halved it would be great for my neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt. For my Imaginary Build Your Own Shrimp and Grits Party– I would definitely add these whimsical appetizers from Bay Tables of the Mobile Junior League! I would double or triple the recipe, I do believe they would be just that good!

Jalapeno Gator Eggs

  • 1 (12 ounce) jar of jalapenos
  • 1 pound of Cheddar Cheese – grated
  • 1 pound lean ground sausage
  • 1 (10 count) can of biscuits

Drain jalapenos and remove the stems. Cut the jalapenos lengthwise and remove the seeds under running water. Stuff the jalapenos with the cheese. Shape the sausage into patties. Wrap around the stuffed jalapenos. Arrange on a baking sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for 10 minutes. Drain and cool. Sausage Jalapenos can be frozen at this point. Separate the biscuits into two layers. Wrap each around the sausage jalapenos and seal the edges. Place on baking sheet. Bake at 400 degree for 10 minutes. Yield 20 servings. * Note: Some recipes leave out some critical information-for instance, these would be whole pickled jalapenos. The canned biscuits would be the flaky type. I would also use mild sausage since the jalapenos add heat, but hey go for it if you love it hot! Recipes like Jalapeno Gator Eggs- get me in party planning mode- real or imagined!  Now I ask you darlin’, which Imaginary Southern Party would you come to? Or, maybe there’s another one…just a few pages away! I’ll keep you posted…

Love y’all, Camellia

All cookbooks were found and ordered from Amazon.com  Photographs are obviously mine!

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Snow…

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Snow is in the forecast- which means in Alabama we might not get a proper snowflake. We’ll look for the signs- the heavy low hanging clouds- snow clouds we call them, whether or not the ground is too warm or too dry or even too wet to stick. We’ll get in a flurry, making sure the pipes are covered, the wood is laid by for a fire, the candles are on standby and most of all we make sure we have milk and bread in the house- don’t ask me why we get these two things, but it is a boost to the local economies.

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I also like to make sure there is at least a can or two of evaporated or sweetened condensed milk in the house, just in case we get to make a batch of Snow Cream. Southern Mothers pray the electricity will stay on, the pipes won’t freeze and that we can keep the little ones from tracking the snow into the house, not to mention warm and dry! The children hop from one foot to the other trying to ‘see’ when our Southern Daddies wake them up to look outside. We get so little snow here, that when we do get enough, we have to improvise makeshift sleds; one memorable sled was made from the hood of a car with a big rope attached- it might have been a prototype for the first five person sled. We’ve been known to use the lids of garbage cans, a piece of cardboard or even a small piece of lawn furniture to get the thrill of a lifetime sledding on home soil. There is nothing like getting out and making the first footsteps in new fallen snow, amid cries of ‘Oh don’t mess it up! It’s so pretty!’ SONY DSC

Our Snowmen are notoriously small and misshapen and tend to hang around for just a short spell. Yet no one can deny the awe we feel looking out the window at a fresh glistening white blanket holding delightful magical possibilities.

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Alabama is a true beauty covered in snow! We may only get a few flurries, but we know that Winter is the time to dream… SONY DSC

A huge thank you to Jeremy Miniard, who once again has shared his photographic talents so generously!

Love y’all, Camellia

*All photographs are the sole property of Jeremy Miniard- visit his site at http://www.jeremy-miniard.fineartamercia.com – Most of these were taken several years back but we are so glad he shared them!jeremy-winter-23

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Department Store Santas…

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Downtown Birmingham was in it’s heyday in the 1950’s. Department Store Window displays were veritable Winter Wonderlands, with electric trains running through magical routes, mechanical elves and snowmen- moved and twirled. Cotton Batting sprinkled with glitter mimicked the real snow of New York City- a favorite destination for wealthy Alabamians, who brought us, not only the wonder of Christmas Shopping but also Department Store Santas.image

The Shriners were already bringing the Barnum/ Bailey Circus to town and started their own Clown Units for Parades. The Shriners also brought a Carnival to Birmingham with the big amusement park rides for adults and kids alike. You would see the Shriners in their red fezzes with black tassles and most sported big gold rings with the Shriners insignia. I know this because our daddy was a  Shriner at Zamora Temple which is still active today.

  • I was afraid of the carnival rides,
  • I was afraid of the circus clowns and-
  • I was afraid of visiting the Department Store Santa at Loveman’s, as you can see in the photograph.

Birmingham was beautifully decked out for Christmas, Joy Young’s Chinese restaurant was a magical place with the little paper umbrellas in our sweet tea glasses, Italian Restaurants, Greek Restaurants and even a sort of speakeasy style restaurant called Dale’s Hideaway was an event; the Russell Stover Candy Shop was a place to press your nose against the cool glass window, the Ritz, the Lyric and the Alabama Theaters were amazing- and the Mighty Wurlitzer Organ at the Alabama Theater was already legendary. And high atop Red Mountain watching over all of us, was the original Ironman- Vulcan.Vulcan_statue_Birmingham_AL_2008_snow_retouchedFamous Hotels like the Tutwiler even had floral bars off the lobby where my grandmother worked from time to time, Woolworth’s Department Store had a lunch counter and bargain basement which were all the rage, Pizitz had a mezzanine with a real elevator operator who said, ‘Going up! or Going down!’ as he turned the big crank and Burger Phillips had glass cases of fur coats- I know these cases inside and out because I got locked in one of them, hiding among the sneezy furs. My mother searched high and low trying to find me until a sales clerk saw a tiny hand inside the glass case!  My track record wasn’t too good with Department Stores. To be honest, the whole Santa Claus thing was sort of frightening- I mean, a man dressed in a red suit, with reindeer landing on the roof and entering our house through our pristine fireplace which was for show but real, and then a big man that shook like a bowl of jelly either left a lump of coal or shiny new toys- dependent on whether or not my sister and I had been good or bad was scary, not to mention those mice that may or may not be in the house! But to actually go see Santa Claus in person and have to ask him di-rectly for presents, well that put me over the edge. Enter my sister who was dressed in a matching sailor coat and tam, but who was infinitely wiser and fearless, stood behind me in line prodding me along. I whispered I was afraid. She told me to stop being afraid. We were almost up to the front of the line, when she got exasperated with my whining and said- ‘Look, he’s not the real Santa Claus! He’s got on spats instead of real boots and he has on a Shrine Ring!’ That settled it, I went through with it, but to be honest? I was still worried to death about the whole thing.

Every Christmas of my childhood, somehow the magic happened…we got Shirley Temple dolls, another year a baby doll named Tiny Tears who worried me to death with wet diapers and another year a Chatty Cathy arrived with a ring on her neck you could pull and she would talk. Talk, Talk, Talk- until my real sister Cathy pulled the string one time too fast and Chatty Cathy was mute from then on…There is not another picture of me with Santa Claus, I suspect the whole thing wore my poor Momma out- or it could be that it was too hard to schedule; not only was the Santa that day a Shriner, he was a famous Radio Personality named Dave Campbell and on alternate days, the Department Store Santa was my Uncle Ellis!

Now, you know that most Southern stories are part truth, part myth and part outright lies- this sad tale, I am sorry to say is the truth, the whole truth- it’s too close to Christmas to risk being naughty!

Love y’all, Camellia

All black and white photographs are from my personal collection and should not be used without permission. Who would want to? The photograph of Vulcan is from Wikipedia and may be subject to copyright.

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Southern Spirits of Christmas…

imageChristmas actually starts months ahead of December in the South… lots of folks started Christmas Club accounts at their local banks last January, or put things on layaway back in the summer. Folks put up pickled peaches, preserves and cracked pecans for days on end looking forward to pecan pies, toasted pecans, pecan tassies and topping those sweet potato casseroles. And then there are a very few women who start their fruitcakes- real ones made up back in early Fall, when the mixing it all together, baking and the soaking with likker starts in earnest. If their faith teaches against the evil spirits of alcohol, the fruitcake making women enlist a man or a friend who is of another persuasion to ride over at least two counties to the ABC store to buy the Bourbon or the Dark rum- with a warning, ‘For heaven’s sake, please don’t let a soul see you buying this! -it’s for fruitcakes not for drinking!’  These are the Southern Spirits of Christmas. Truth be told most like to put a nip in their eggnog too and the menfolks generally have a spot where they can slip outside and imbibe. Can’t stand either fruitcakes or eggnog, never developed a taste for Strong Spirits myself, yet-I freely admit that it is nearly impossible to cook Southern food without some Spirits accompanying the other ingredients. For instance, after Hot Pecan Pies come out of the oven, a sizzling sprinkle of Bourbon raises up a Pecan Pie like nothing can. One could argue that Rum aids and abets many desserts, a Bread Pudding or the accompanying Hard Sauce really does need to be Spirited, flavored extracts just won’t get it done. Some of the best beverages in the world were conjured up right here in the South. Co-Cola (yes, that’s, how we pronounce it) Bourbon, Sweet Tea, Buffalo Rock and Jack Daniels are just a few. It is the moderation of these Southern Spirits which is key. And while strong drink might be evil to some- it does bring a certain Southern Comfort to some with a bittersweet heartache and even a Festive Spirit to the holidays. Now, about those Bourbon balls…don’t get me started!

Love y’all, Camellia