Posted on by Camellia's Cottage

Prologue: The Passing, The Protocols and the Pearls…

Let me say this first, before we dip into the 3 Part Series, mostly from bygone eras, about Southern Funerals. There is nothing funny about Dying. Grief is Real. Loss is a heavy heart burden on the soul; and I respect the solemn occasion of the Passing of Loved Ones.

However: There’s this, Southerners don’t like to say, ‘Goodbye’. And, there are funny things about how our Southern Mothers handle the Passings, the Funerals and the Goodbyes. A Passing is not just a time for mourning, it’s a logistical feat worthy of only three occasions, when a community is spurred into action at this level- Weddings, Christenings and of course, Funerals.

I’m gonna talk ‘southern’ to you for a minute, before I get carried away here.. Southerners will do or say almost anything rather than say ‘Goodbye’. I’m trying to tell you something you may not know. A lot of us have a superstitious streak and saying ‘goodbye’ is just one of those unlucky things we try to avoid. I end these missives with ‘Love y’all’ – it just seems nicer than ‘That’s All She Wrote.’

If you get me started on the Passings or Funerals. Let’s just say, we have an aversion to sayin’.. ‘He died.’ No, we say, ‘She passed away’ or ‘we lost him’ .. or ‘now that Grandmama’s gone.’ Or- ‘Can you believe it’s been 10 years since Daddy left us?’ It’s confusing, though, Please Don’t Ask- ‘Where did you lose him?’ or why did he leave’ Why? It might provoke a Sinking Spell or worse. One cookbook I have- has a section on Funeral Food– it includes not one but two recipes for Sinking Spells. Yes, it’s a thing.

We try to find the most ‘delicate’ ways to avoid saying the actual word – Death. There are many ways southerners avoid saying ‘Goodbye’. Whether it’s going home or to the grave. It’s just so final, you know.

There’s a Social Etiquette, The Rules, the Protocols. I won’t be covering All of these in the upcoming- 3 Part Series. These Protocols are expected to be Enforced with Precision. The Obituary, the Preparations at the Funeral Home, the Final Resting Place. There are always ‘debates and debacles’. Rich Traditions, including the discreet or indiscreet Sympathy Line at the Funeral Home.

‘Where will sit that special chair for Mama to sit in? You know her ankles swell, and it’s just not fitting for her to stand, in the state she’s in.’ Someone has to be in charge, when we are experiencing these heavy transitions- From the Obituary, Sign In Book, to the whispered conversations, the Viewing, the Fashion Protocols.. let’s Dip in:

“Did you hear? gasp ‘I didn’t’.

Who will be making the arrangements? ‘The service will be held in the old Sanctuary- it was her favorite; with Church Fans. ‘Thank you, Lord.’ *that’s a prayer. The Air Conditioning hasn’t worked since 1984.’ The arrangements will be conducted by the Piney Grove Funeral Home, with Interment in the Founding Members section.

The Obituary? Oh, I heard her best friend wrote it. She was a columnist years ago, in the Piney Grove Social Section. Famous for her sign off- ‘A Good Time was had by All.’ *surely she won’t add that. Someone said the obituary will be, ‘It will be just like her. Of course, she wanted her final photo to be of her- wearing her Head Majorette Uniform.’ *did I hear a hiss?

‘Well, we All know she dressed like a Dream. Always looked like she stepped right out of a bandbox, but really?’ (voice goes up two octaves) Why would they say- ‘She enjoyed shopping at Bargain Town U.S.A.’ sigh.. ‘Much less add that- she was a strong advocate for Literacy in this county. She even drove the Bookmobile every Thursday for a while.’ *You take major risks with the Obituary Writer.

Then, there are the Pearls and Fashion Choices. Before the first tear falls, the wardrobes must be curated. The Waterproof Mascara that actually works must be bought. And, wouldn’t you know? The first thing you see are the Twins. They are older than Grist Mills over the mountain. They decided, of all things to wear ‘Ivory Silk’ dresses. They always dress alike. Though, really? To a funeral in October, of all things! No, it must be heavily starched Black Linen Dresses at a Decent Length. Pearls. Hats are allowed, just make sure yours isn’t so big, No One can see the Choir Loft!

Dressing the Corpse. There is a major exception to wearing Black. The corpse may wear whatever was her favorite color, not Black. And, make sure, the color won’t make her look wan and pale under those harsh lights of the funeral parlor, which can cast an unnatural pallor, the lipstick choices must be chosen carefully too.

There’s a thin line between Tacky or Tasteful especially Funeral Tasteful or Funeral Tacky. *I wrote a 3 part series on Tacky or Tasteful fashion choices, several years ago.

Listen in again: ‘I heard her hairdresser of decades will be fixing her hair. No, it won’t be the latest style she wore. She asked for that Pompadour Sweep Over she wore years ago. You know, she was always so self conscious about her height. Still, I hope she will look Natural.’ *They secretly hope she hasn’t asked to wear that fake leopard muff to conceal her hands, folks worry about the hands. ‘Well, it’s better than Earlene Odene telling everybody who would listen- she wanted to wear one of those pretty negligees, Buck had given her through the years’. ‘She’s not Dead, she’s just Sleeping.’ was her motto. They will probably add that to her Tombstone.

If Big Momma isn’t leaving us; it’s the Men we have to worry about. Their Fashion Choices. We make an exception for the menfolks in attendance- Heavy Starched Overalls and his Best Sunday Shirt are acceptable, in some cases. *Maybe he attended Lone Wolf Lake Chapel. Though, for a corpse?

Take- PawPaw. He had his ways. The Rules say- his attire must not conflict with the casket. Would he prefer his best Sunday Suit? Or- will they let him wear his Fishing Vest and Plaid Shirt, so St. Peter will recognize him. PawPaw said, ‘St. Peter was a fisherman, I don’t think he would mind when he sees me at the Pearly Gates.’

The Ultimate Test of Character in a Southern family, is the dividing of the spoils. Watch out for the Sisters and the Aunts while you’re making the arrangements at the funeral home. Make sure, no one, including- Mary Beth, with her sweet face and sweeter smile hasn’t started dividing up the Jewelry of the Deceased before the cemetery plot is even dug. There’s always at least one who has been eyeing the cocktail rings, the pearls, the jewels right in the presence of the deceased, for heavens sake! It might be a whisper. ‘You know, Gertrude always wanted me to have the emeralds..’ Ruth Ann, pipes up- ‘Well, she promised me those South Sea Pearls, Arnold gave them to her when he got back from the South Pacific.’

Then, there’s the grandchildren, nieces and nephews. Insisting to anyone who will listen, ‘You know I was her favorite.’ Entirely unaware that Big Momma told every single blood relative, not to mention the ones she claimed kin to– They were her ‘favorite’ just to keep the peace and the grass cut!

There are two types of Matriarchs that make sure Funeral Protocols are done, and done right- The uppity but precise- Mary Maude Morton, and the cold stone Freesia Faye Butler. Both are in the historical society, some call it the ‘hysterical society.’ They both serve on the Cemetery Committee.

And there’s this: No matter how caring, compassionate and careful Piney Grove Funeral Home is- If either Mary Maude Morton or Freesia Faye Butler, objects-The County Coroner and the State Records and Certificates have been told in no uncertain terms that ‘unless’ Miss Morton or Miss Butler file a written notice that the Proper Protocol has been followed- ‘Do Not. I repeat Do Not issue a Death Certificate.’ That means no one is leaving or passing over the Jordan River, if you get my drift, until Mary Maude or Freesia Faye are satisfied.

There is More to Passing, Protocols and the Pearls. Though, your patience may be wearing thin. So, I want to make sure you know that- Next up is the Three Part Series- Flowers, Food and the Restorative Cocktail.

Love y’all, Brenda

I would add that Writing Humor is one of more than a dozen Writing Techniques I teach, in ‘Writing Content with Confidence’ . The Writing Sanctuary is my favorite part of this course. It’s a weekly, private chat group. There is no Zoom, no cameras, no recordings, no mandatory attendance. A gathering around a Writing Prompt. *enrollees in the course, automatically have a seat! I’ve been told that the Writing Sanctuary is worth the price of the whole course, which is $97 USD. I am in there weekly, along with others. Even seasoned writers enjoy this group! Thank you again for being here!

Posted on by Camellia's Cottage

Movin’ On…

Bicycle to indicate 'Moving On'

Is there Anything that says, ‘Forward Motion’ like a Bicycle? I had one bicycle as a young girl, this one looks like it. I tried to back up that Bicycle.. let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty. I might have avoided wheelies and skinned knees, though my clean, almost new Tennis Shoes got scuffed, and the bike tipped over. Yes, with me on it.

I recall telling you that I am Uncoordinated, practically from birth. Okay, by first grade, it was obvious. Sadly, publicly obvious. So, just the Act of Moving can be dangerous for me. And..

I think I recall telling you about Pit Barbeque, though, did I mention Real Pit BBQ isn’t throwing something on the backyard grill? No, real pit BBQ is getting harder and harder to find. And, really: I think those places don’t want New Customers coming around. As a girl, riding in the backseat with the windows rolled down.. the scent of Loblolly Pines, the crunch of an old chert road.. I knew when the scent began to change.. I smelled it. That distinct Hickory Smoke… ‘It’s just on down the road..’ could mean Miles in Alabama. It’s true.

Though, here’s the thing. I’m not taking you on a bicycle ride to get Pit BBQ. I am not even suggesting we take a Car. For one thing, it’s dangerous. Those places are notoriously waay back in the woods.. and I will admit it, I could get us lost. I would have to think about it long and hard.. because learning how to Drive, practically made my driving instructor want to quit his job!

No, I’m movin’ on.

Wait, don’t call the Funeral Home yet! I’m just going to get historical on you, first.

For 10 years, I have been writing Camellia’s Cottage. First, under the pen name of Camellia. My hands literally shook before I hit ‘Publish’. Do you know that feeling?

Back in 2020, we had that pandemic. My voice, as Camellia , began to crack. Stuff wasn’t as funny to me as before. I was concerned about Small Shops and Small Business owners surviving. So, I shifted the Messages here, on Camellia’s Cottage, to Inspiration and Marketing, and there’s this: shhh… the po-lit-ical landscape for southerners was starting to be as hot as freshly poured asphalt.

That’s not my style- to get in heated conversations or into hot water for that matter. So, I kept Writing to You about Marketing- selling what you Do, Create or Offer. *I still do that Weekly in my Newsletter. The signup form is here: Brenda Wyatt.

Meanwhile, expect this here: I’m Movin’ On to a Shift here. I miss writing Southern Lifestyle, Southern Food and Southern Humor. It’s generally ‘bygone era’ stuff. Why? Well, I’m pretty ‘bygone’ myself and to be honest, that kind of writing is nostalgic and funnier.. I plan to write more of that.

I’ve already planned the Funeral. Wait! not my funeral.. I’m not going anywhere. I have more to say about ‘bygone era’ Funeral quirks and customs. It will be at least a 3 Part Series. Here’s a taste of what you will read, in the Funeral Series:

  • The Flowers. Don’t use Plastic. Do let the Garden Club ladies scour roadsides and gardens. Yard Flowers. Great on their own or as Fillers. Let Uncle Fred sit and fret over the exact shade of Pink Roses ‘she loved’.
  • The Food. We must talk about the Funeral Food. It’s an Encyclopedia Volume 1 and 2. Let me just say one word. Casseroles. ‘Really, Mabel who would’nt want Elbow Macaroni laid to rest in that egg and cheese custard? Though, don’t you dare add that Cayenne Pepper that Lucille insists on! It’s not fitting, to bring the heat on for the Bereaved, who Do Not, I repeat, Do Not want to even think about how hot the Devil’s Back Door Knob might be!’
  • The Restorative Cocktail. Now, don’t get up on your abstaining High Horse. I won’t elaborate on this just yet. Here’s the Thing. A discreet ‘after the funeral is over, Restorative Cocktail’, isn’t a Celebration for heaven’s sake! – it’s for Medicinal Purposes only. If St. Paul allowed for it, who are we to question Apostolic Advice? No, siree, we will not.

So, yes, I will be movin’ and backing up carefully towards Southern Lifestyle, Southern Food, Southern Humor. *again, the Inspiration and Marketing Advice will still be in my Weekly Newsletter!

Love y’all, Brenda aka Camellia

Don’t forget to sign up for that Marketing and Inspirational Newsletter!

And, if you’re interested in finding a Writing Community, here’s the one I created, it’s the Writing Sanctuary. I would love to have you!

Remember:

If you sign up- I will never sell your information, I will never talk about you behind your back, I won’t mention that weight you’ve gained over the summer, I won’t even get mad if you unsubscribe.. it would break my heart, though.

Posted on by Camellia's Cottage

Three Things You Need Always

Three Things you Need Always

No matter what you Do, Create or Offer, in your Life or Work.

You need:

  • Instinct
  • Intuition
  • Imagination

The 3 Gifts.

Instinct has the Grit to speak it’s Mind, before you have a Chance to Doubt. Intuition has the Grace to gently walk beside you, nudging you in the right Direction, if you will listen. Imagination is that playful Friend who Guides your Creativity.

These Gifts don’t have to be earned. They are your Inside Voices. Priceless Friends. I’m convinced that at a certain age- we’ve either left these Gifts behind Or.. We have cultivated the friendship and the companionship of Instinct, Intuition and Imagination to guide us toward our next chapter- Our Second Act.

No longer dreaming- Designing a Creative Legacy, whatever form that takes. “Is it too Late?’ I heard you say that. No. These Gifts have always been there.

How to access them- Get Quiet. You will begin to Hear them and have the Grace and Grit to allow them to Guide you.

Instinct, Intuition and Imagination don’t ever Really go away. They wait patiently until we recognize their significance. Then, bit by bit we regain the Trust we need to use them, creatively.

Which one do you like best? Bossy Instinct? Gracious Intuition prefers to guide quietly..until she gets insistent. Or Playful Imagination? She’s usually the life of the Party! I need them All! Why?

Because the ideal is that these 3 Things Work together, for you. For you. By blending the Grit of your lived experiences alongside the Grace of your Inner Guide, you will transform your natural Instinct, Intuition and Imagination into a creative Legacy that speaks clearly to the world and stands the test of Time.

Inside ‘Writing Content with Confidence’ my online course.. It’s the End of Someday.. you know that drawer full of ideas you have? Isn’t it Time that you bring them out? Share them with the world. I hope you will. Check that link to see if it’s something you may want to add to your writing skills. Meanwhile…

I have some News You Can Use!

Where do you think Long Form Writing ranks right now? Consumer interest has it at #1! And, there’s this: Instagram is in the top 5 of Search Engines. Plus, it’s still, the Best Place for new or small businesses to share what they Do, Create or Offer! As Seth Godin said, ‘It’s not about the Stuff you Sell, it’s about the Stories you tell’.

So, keep writing and telling those stories! I’m here to help if you need it.

Love y’all, Brenda

P.S. I have a weekly newsletter, if this is something you would like to receive, leave your email address in the comments Or send me an email – just type NEWLETTER in the subject line at brenda@brenda-wyatt.com

Posted on by Camellia's Cottage · 1 Comment

In the Age of AI, Your Voice is Your Legacy

Hi, I'm Brenda Wyatt Writer, Author, Blogger and Course Creator

To my Incredible community of writers and bloggers:

Thank you for being here. After over 500 posts, over a decade now- You have read my stories. I’m So grateful for the space you have given me, here. Today, I want to talk about the future of Words. We are living through a time, when a machine can generate content in mere seconds. The silent question we all share is:

Does my human voice still matter? Is pen to paper a Lost Art? The resounding answer is Yes. More than ever! Your unique human perspective is your greatest Asset in 2026. An interesting fact: Stationary Shops are having a big moment. Paper, Pens, Notebooks, Journals! Here’s Why your Voice, your genuine Words matter.

Human generated Words are Words written with a Purpose. AI is a Prompt that a Human has written.

My Journey:

I have always believed the my work should speak for itself. I focused on the craft of writing, words on a page. *Literally writing with a pen on paper before typing it here or as I wrote my book. I believed in the Integrity of the Stories. Even the humorous posts, came from ‘lived experiences’. The awards along the way were wonderful confirmations for me.

I need to clarify here: I wasn’t new to Marketing; I was new to Writing in a Public format. I had spent 30+ years in high end retail and also with visual display and branding. That experience is why I created my first online course: Be Unforgettable! A Guide to Visual Marketing.

Before that course, I had written a book, published in 2014, and struggled to Learn How to write a Blog in 2016. A few years ago, I realized something: It’s not enough to write a beautiful message if that message can’t find it’s readers. I had taken a wonderful Online Course for social media. I struggled with Social Media. I kept going. I had joined a few Challenges. I was building a community there.

The popular advice for writers was far too generic. The focus was rushed, focused on algorithm hacks over Authenticity. My motto became: ‘Become a Trusted Resource.’ Which I will always Believe. Now, we have been told the focus in 2026 is Authentic, Trustworthy, Real. That’s a Good Thing. Since Bots are showing up faster than even the best algorithms can keep up with or eradicate.

I decided we needed a better way for Writers, with Purpose. Apply Image Driven Words. We needed a place focused on legacy, not quick fixes or hacks. I created my second online course- ‘Writing Content with Confidence’. Born out of Years of Work and Writing. I knew I had Tools to Offer.

It’s a guided experience- more than a dozen ways to craft a message, plus Images drive the Written Content and Color starts Writing the Story before a word is written. It’s a blend of Writing and Marketing, authentically, in a Trustworthy way.

Writing now, as unsettling as it is, in the current environment of lots of noise, lots of hacks, lots of bots, lots of AI- our Perspective Shifts. Often, we are looking back with Nostalgia or adopting a forward-looking Mindset. We need both. We need Writers like you!

Perspective. Looking back? or Forward facing?

My Writing Course was soft launched in the Fall of 2025. I have had several beta testers going through along with some students. I realized something. Yes, it’s ‘go at your own pace, lifetime access’ and that’s great. And the introductory price is low at $47. Yet my intuition was telling me that Writers need a Sanctuary.

Are you asking: Why tell Bloggers, who are Writers about this? Well, even seasoned writers who have had a first look say, ‘Man, this has a Lot of Stuff in here!’ or that they never imagined it would also have Marketing Advice along with the Writing Content. *There is even a section on ‘Product Shots’ Yes, writers need solitude, yet they also need a safe space, with a community of other writers, who may also be artists and creatives too!

So, I am adding the Writing Sanctuary for the official relaunch February 10, 2026. I added a Private Chat Group for my first online course and most have told me that Private Group is worth the price of the course! With the new Writing Course, this private group will be called, the Writing Sanctuary, a quiet private space right inside Instagram. Find me @brendawyatt_

I plan to be in the Writing Sanctuary at least weekly, to have ‘Ask Me Anything’ or Encourage Writers to Write also offer prompts and more. In my other group, members follow each other and encourage one another, become friends, their most ardent cheerleaders.

I am opening the Doors to the Writing Sanctury:

The Doors are Open for the Writing Sanctuary

There will be a price adjustment from introductory $47 to $97 to reflect the added benefit on February 9. (There is Lifetime Access, the Course is completely open, no waiting for another lesson to drop, Go at your own pace. No zoom meetings.)

Founding Members will enjoy all of the benefits, including the Private Group at the Introductory Price. *of course, that also means extra support while it’s new.

The Doors are Open now, until February 10,2026. *To take advantage of the additional benefit of the Writing Sanctuary- Join us now, before the Rate Changes.

I am here to help you feel confident enough to share your Legacy. You’re writing one, you know you are.

Your Stories need to be Written. They need to be Shared. Even your Recipes! Those Stories may not even be in the genre you’re writing now! All the best in 2026!

Love y’all, Brenda aka ‘Camellia’ and yes, I still make cornbread!

REMINDER: Founding Rate: $47 USD *rate adjustment deadline is February 9. $97 USD. I hope You will join us! If you would like to receive my Newsletter: send me an email! brenda@brenda-wyatt.com

Find out more about the course here: Write Content with Confidence

And, if you’re on Instagram Find More @brendawyatt_

Posted on by Camellia's Cottage · 4 Comments

Writing Prompts! Pumpkins this Time..

Let’s Write About Pumpkins!

Hello! it’s been a while!

Well.. it’s October! 

And Pumpkins are all over the place! 

Worldwide, folks have a love affair with pumpkins and their warty cousins, the gourds! 

Pumpkin everything, it seems! 

I recently shared a post on Instagram- @brendawyatt_ a fun post called – Pick a Pumpkin! There were 7 images of Pumpkins- numbered. I asked them to pick their favorite pumpkin! Then I had instructions for the Writing Challenge with Pumpkin Prompts!

So, now I’m challenging All of you Writers, to give this a try? Why? it’s fun and really, sometimes we just need to Write for the Fun of it.

Most of us, including the Writers here, need Ideas! This one is Fun! And who knows? It may inspire you for your own post or more than one!

A few Tips!

1. The Texture- add details- not just ‘smooth and taunt’, the pumpkin also has a stem- what does that stem feel like? or the Inside of the Pumpkin? a totally different texture! right?

2. Sound. This is a good writing exercise. Why? Describe the ‘Thump’ as a baritone, or give it an adjective- The Thump was solid and strong. Or, I was expecting the Thump to sound hollow.. *finish the sentence.

3. With descriptive writing- What a pumpkin feels like inside? You decide? Will it be? Mushy. ‘I didn’t like the mess!’ or ‘I think the pumpkin didn’t like it that I was disturbing her insides!’ (that’s human characteristics) Which brings me to

4. Give your Pumpkin human characteristics– this is where the Fun really begins! ‘They always said, I’d be a Beauty when I grew up.’ or ‘I’ve always had a problem with my weight, now they tell me that my weight is my biggest asset!’ *I could go on and on… let’s get to

5. Describe the Color of the Pumpkin. Pumpkins come in various colors, especially now. You’ll see everything, from a ghostly white pumpkins, to a pale green, to dark, medium or pale orange. Describe the Color. Imagine your audience doesn’t have an Image to go by. Or, use color psychology! *I teach this, so I can tell you, Orange is almost always a ‘good hostess’.. off you go! Look up the other colors and when you describe your pumpkin, help me see it!

6. This is Emotion. It’s always good to practice Emotional Storytelling. Is the Pumpkin feeling anxious about leaving the Pumpkin Patch? or the Pumpkin excited to find a new home? You know how to do this!

7. Tell us Why you chose your Pumpkin. This one is getting close to home! You should write the emotions you felt choosing that particular pumpkin. What you are dreaming of using it for- decor? carving? toasting fresh pumpkin seeds? or you felt ‘the children would like it?

I don’t know about you, when I’m stuck? or have Writer’s Block– Sometimes, it’s just better to do something New! and Remember why we enjoy Writing in the first place! Drumroll please… I haven’t had writer’s block, I’ve been writing big Time!

BIG NEWS! I’ve been creating a New Online Course! It’s called ‘Writing Content with Confidence’ check it out, if you’d like to know more. It’s affordable, I promise!

The course starts out with a Challenge, it’s called the Writer’s Toolkit. And it has 3 Ways to Shake Loose Some Words! Another way of saying- If you’ve been Stuck or you feel your Writing could use an upgrade- I think they call it a ‘glow-up’ these days! And.. it’s a full blown course, not just a video and one measly download.

*If you’re signed up for my newsletter list? You received a bonus- October Prompts! November Prompts will be coming along soon! I hope to do the same to finish out December!

If you think you’d like to be on the newsletter list here’s the Form for my Newsletter! https://app.kit.com/forms/designers/5528529/edit!

I hope you’ll sign up! So many places to Write these days! Thank you, in advance for signing up!

Love y’all, Brenda