Don’t believe ’em…

imageBesides our glowing skin, our charming accents, the unusual way we talk and the fact that most of the time we’re cuter; what people really like about Southern Women is our Food! I mean who doesn’t like:

  •  Fried chicken, real macaroni and cheese
  • Green beans, cornbread,
  • Blackberry cobbler, sweet potato casserole
  • and our Banana pudding?

So, every once in a while I feel I should warn folks about seriously misguided phrases, so you can avoid being trapped into eating something not at all like Real Southern food! For instance, if someone says-

  • ‘I found a new recipe for fruitcake and it doesn’t even taste like fruitcake!’ – Don’t believe ’em. We don’t say that for Fried Pies, Blackberry Cobbler, Banana Pudding or Mimi’s Pound Cake! And really why would you even want to make a fruitcake that doesn’t taste like fruitcake? Only a fruitcake, if you get my drift…fruit-cake

If someone wants you to try something called ‘Southern Style’ – well, it’s a fad. If style is added after Southern- Don’t believe ’em…it’s against the truth in advertising law. We all love to be stylish but don’t mess with our food! I’m also leery if someone says- ‘ I make oven fried chicken’. No, darlin’… this is how you say it-‘Ah’m gonna fry some chicken.’  Here’s the clencher for true Southern cooking- if she has the burn marks to prove it; pulls up her sleeve- points to a place and says ‘Easter, 1998’ – and that place is ‘March 2001’.  That is physical proof of someone who can actually fry chicken- not style or oven fry chicken!

But the real term to avoid is: ‘It tastes just like…’ chickens-black-publicdomainpictures

  • No, Honey, Alligator does not taste just like Chicken- it’s  tough and chewy…not even a tom turkey is as tough as alligator! Just say- It’s alligator, try it if you dare and add that white alligator meat is better than dark.
  • Sweetheart, Frog Legs do not taste just like chicken! Someone tried to pass off Buffalo Frog Legs on me one time and I was not fooled by that Yankee for a New York minute!Fried Frog legs are common in the South and lots of people like ’em, but Faithful Frog Leg Lovers are proud to place an order for Fried Frog Legs please ma’am.
  • Bless your heart, I hope you nevah believe that Turtle tastes just like chicken– go ahead and try our high faloutin’ Turtle Soup but please don’t ever compare it to chicken!
  • No Darlin’-Rattlesnake does not taste just like chicken- I’ve been to that rodeo before…and I looked like someone gaggin’ on a maggot when I was told what I was really eating! Honestly since Eve pawned off that Apple on Adam- Southern men will go to any lengths to pass off Reptiles and Am-phib-ians as chicken! Don’t believe ’em.
  • No Precious- Soy Burgers, Emu or Buffalo steaks do not taste just like beef and believe me in a state like Alabama where cattle are raised in every single county? We do know Real Beef.
  • And Tater Tot- Turkey Bacon cannot compare to the only meat designed to produce real Bacon-Don’t believe ’em…you have to go Whole Hog to get real bacon! IMG_1387
  • Imitation or Mock Crab does not taste like Alabama Blue Crab! And while I’m at it- Don’t believe ’em if they  say Crawfish tastes like a cross between lobster or shrimp! Crawfish is a delicacy on it’s own! *please note: It is a cross we bear, but please-Southerners do not say Cray-fish! That really sticks in this Southern girl’s craw!image

Today I was amusing myself by reading one of my favorite cookbooks- Don’t even think about asking me which one, I cannot bear for cornbread to be shown such disrespect– Some woman, whose ancestors, no doubt are Carpetbaggers; was Scalawag enough to pawn off a recipe called ‘No Corn Bread’ – really!  She actually wants folks to use Cream of Wheat instead of our revered Corn Meal! I tossed the cookbook away from me in abject horror. I couldn’t believe it! Why mess with perfection?2016-03-23 13.50.11Though as I’m writing this, I have to think that the cook who submitted- No Corn Bread  must either be flush with  money or not very well liked. Some Junior Leaguer is surely grinning like a possum- that she included such an irreverent recipe in the final draft!  You might as well be warned, don’t put too much credence in food styles, any recipe that says ‘mock’ or ‘tastes just like’  are food traps! Be warned, they are out there and often passed off as Real Southern Food.- Don’t believe ’em.

Love y’all, Camellia

*note: There is an actual Rattlesnake Rodeo held  in Opp Alabama if you ever get a hankering for real rattlesnake!. We might be the only State in the Union to have one town name Opp and another called Epp! Many years ago, I had a dear friend who had travelled from her home in New England cross country- She could not believe that she passed through OOPS on one side of the state and on the other side. she passed through EEPS, yes, that’s my sweet home Alabama!

Fruitcake photo is from http://www.commons.wikimedia, Black Chickens from http://www.publicdomainpictures.net All other photographs are my own.

 

Football Food…

If you live in the South, chances are almost 100% that you are an SEC football fan, and not just a fan but whole hog– a rabid dog fan for your team. SEC football fans despise any team that has beaten their team even though it was 30 years ago, we have long memories and don’t cotton to folks who aren’t with our team. Whole families who are split in their loyalties, are barely on speaking terms during football season- if a couple happens to have divided loyalties, they rarely even sit in the same room to watch football, particularly if those teams are playing each other. And another thing, please don’t get married during football season, or at least check the schedule to make sure there are no conflicts! I know, it’s crazy! However, one thing we all agree on is – Football Food. Often Football Food is determined by which team you support- for instance here we always have Golden Flake® potato chips and Barber’s® Onion Dip because, they are considered lucky and both products are made right here in Alabama! I made ahead some Football Food today. This recipe would not have been sanctioned until we got past the Tennessee game because the food is Orange-  it would be bad luck to serve the other team’s colors on the day we were playing them! But this week, there will be no Big Orange! Football Food like this Fall Cheese Ball-is easy and delicious-and just adorable don’t you think?image

This was a quick snapshot- on Game Day, I would plank it as the food stylists are calling-putting food out on a board with crackers, marinated olives, pickles, grapes- whatever you choose. It’s a new style I personally love. This Cheese Ball is crying out for apple slices, don’t you think? I prefer to make two cheese balls (about the size of a baseball per cheese ball) from this recipe. I keep one chilled and serve one- to keep things neat. You can also make one large apple shaped cheese ball from our very own recipe if you are serving a crowd:

Camellia’s Cottage Fall Cheddar Cheese Ball

  • 1 – 8 ounce block of sharp cheddar cheese (grated)
  • 1- 8 oz block of cream cheese

Let cheeses come to room temperature, then add:

  • 2 cloves of garlic- chopped fine
  • 3/4 cup of chopped pecans
  • 2 Tbs. Worcestershire Sauce
  • 1/4-1/2 teaspoon of cayenne pepper

Mix until smooth, shape into either one large ball or two small balls, making an indentation to simulate an apple. Chill until firm. Meanwhile cut a small branch or two (be sure to clean the bottom part of the branch with vinegar and let dry). Sprinkle the tops of the apple shaped cheese ball with mild paprika and carefully insert stick before cheese ball comes to room temperature. Before serving, allow cheese ball to come to room temperature. Serve with crackers or apple slices or even a puddle of strawberry jam. Enjoy!

Whether it’s Football Food or a Fall Celebration, this cheddar cheese ball is great and as an added bonus, the cheese ball wrapped tightly, freezes well. This week, I hope your SEC team wins unless they’re playing mine!

Love y’all, Camiella

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Fall…

imageIn the South, Fall is usually the shortest season of the year. Summer starts cheerfully in May, then trudges until the end of October. The new magazines are Showoffs with Fat Pumpkins, artful pictures of Fall Fashion, even Autumn inspired Apple and Pumpkin Pies- to be honest, I never say Autumn and I’d take a Sweet Potato Pie over Pumpkin any day! The magazines show Fall Home Décor and  stunning photographs of Fall Foliage- it just galls me, here we sit sweltering in the heat! That glow Southern women are known for comes from the heat and humidity that stays with us almost all year round…By Fall? We pine for, we long for cool crisp air- we would dearly love to put on fall fashions, except you cannot go outside – you must be inside under the air conditioner to wear your cute sweater set and boots. The Weather Channel gets a huge Southern audience in the Fall for Hurricanes, First Frost Dates or Scorching Temperatures in the high 80’s. Folks just start runnin’ for the hills.  Honestly a Fall like this one is enough to make you willing to give up Iced Tea for one cool breeze! At SEC football games, it has been so hot the players had to have IV’s for dehydration! Alabama often has stunning Fall Color- that means the leaves have turned pretty colors, just not here, this year.  This Fall is one of those curl up and die years; giving us the sense that the yard is saying –‘Ok, ya’ll,  I give up, I’ve had it with this heat, I’m taking a nap.’  I got up my courage, and decided in the last few days to root around and see what I could find in the Yard and the store that said- Fall.

 

I found Green Figs that are still ripening, my second crop of Arugula and believe it or not  heat resistant Tomato vines have some tiny green ones growing- even though deer had a snack on the top leaves, we’re still picking Jalapenos, they’re hot too. A few Zinnias are getting the last word with Green Envy®. I have begun to get out a few Fall decorations like the Cotton Wreath and the little carved wood leaf man, which was a sweet gift from a dear friend…

Braving the heat, those sweet Dogwoods have fat Red Berries with crumpled brown and yellow leaves sidled up to a few cheerfully green but limp leaves. I love to find Pinecones which are dropping in disgust now. At the grocery store, there was a happy looking bin of Tiny Pumpkins and Apples which survived the trip over to Alabama. We have  Beekeepers and even more Pecan Growers-…listen, we don’t say Pee-Can…that’s something Yankees came up with- we say Pa-cahns.  The abandoned Hat Nest looked sweet on a bench. Hydrangeas, enough to fill more than two large galvanized tubs- are drying inside now. The much aligned Golden Rod is shyly showing up. Our ‘Mums for Music’ are popping open their Red Blooms in perfect harmony.

 

Right here in the Yard at Camellia’s Cottage- (we don’t say lawn in the South- it’s yard, front or back) there are subtle signs that Fall is here… All in all, I felt a bit better about our no-show curl up and die Fall when I put together all I had found…I’d love to hear what’s going on in your yard…and how you’re celebrating Fall! Meanwhile, I’ll sip some iced tea and keep up under the air conditioning! Oh me…

Love y’all, Camellia

*Eden Elementary is a local school which raises funds for their Music Program by selling wonderful Mums in the Fall and Ferns in the Spring- we love supporting music programs for children!

Sailor Girls…

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My sister and I are just 26 months apart. Our sweet Momma made most of our clothes and loved to dress us alike, as you can see… Here we are the Sailor Girls. Cathy and I have sailed life, through rough seas and smooth sailing, but always and forever- she is my anchor. We don’t look alike, her eyes are velvet brown, mine are a funny shade of green. She has always had better hair but I don’t begrudge her for it. She is right handed and I write with my left hand.  As you can tell, she has always had better taste in clothes- I wanted to wear red socks with my sailor outfit- she chose the classic white. She was my first and best teacher. She taught me how to read and write at age four- when she was just six years old! I don’t guess it’s that big of a deal these days, back then it was. I loved reading her first grade Dick and Jane books. I will always be thankful for the gift she gave me- I still love to read and write! Not only did she teach me the fundamentals but she also taught me how tie a tiny thread around a junebug’s leg and let it spin round and round our heads. Even better Cathy taught me how to pinch the lit ends off of lightening bugs and stick them around my wrists for All-Natural- Glow in the Dark Bracelets. We didn’t murder all of them, some were tiny nightlights in a jar between the twin beds we shared. Sometimes we pushed our beds together and pretended it was a boxing ring. She has such a great imagination- ‘Over on that side of the ring is the bantam weight boxer (me) and on this side of the ring is the heavyweight champion of the world!'(her) and the boxing would commence. She retained her championship. Though I must say, I did a better Elvis impression than she did; or at least I think I did. Cathy tried it once at school- she was appointed to take names while the teacher had to slip out of the room– she got up on top of the teacher’s desk- so she could maintain control of the class and entertained the group with her rendition of Elvis- the teacher was not amused.  She was always generous in letting me go first at the doctor’s office, while she was busy tying her sash in a dozen knots so our Momma had to apologize as she untied all of those knots making our visits a bit longer.  In our childhood, folks fresh from World War II were worried about infectious diseases like polio- the two of us lined up to take the Salk vaccine on sugar cubes, I gagged and she savored hers; and there was also the satellite Sputnik, so concerned neighbors watched for the blinking light to streak across the sky at night- while sitting in lawn chairs, and listened to Huntley/Brinkley. Our neighbor wore a white hardhat with the emblem for Civil Defense emblazoned on the front of it. A few built bomb shelters. Once we toured a bomb shelter, it was like a small buried submarine in the front yard of a neighbor’s house- we walked around looking at cans of potted meat and Vienna sausages – I had a weak stomach and tended toward timid- Cathy took my hand and whispered- ‘Let’s get out of here.’ I will always love her for that and the many other times she rescued me. She teaches me bravery to this day.img_1557

We were at our aunt’s house in this picture, look at those doodads on the mantel! I’m pretty sure we played ‘Swing the Statue’ with our cousins- Cathy turned it into ‘Sling the Statue as Hard as You Can’ when one of them swung me too hard and knocked my breath out. My Sailor girl sister is still one of the funniest people I have ever known. She has the award to prove it- being elected ‘Wittiest’ by her peers in high school. She retains her title to this very day. Together we have perfected the art of inappropriate laughter. I am a storyteller, she is the mimic, the master of the outrageous line, the bestowing of the perfect nicknames, the facial expressions, the spice of life. And yet, she is the artistic one- she has a flair, a knack, an eye– for design, for style, for life. Cathy is my North Star for the art of living the good life. My first and best cheerleader- except the time- I cracked her up, desperately trying to learn a poem in the fifth grade about Nancy Hanks coming back as a ghost; my serious rendition of the last line, as the ghostly mother of Abraham Lincoln, who wondered- ‘Did he get on?‘ -Cathy thought it was hysterical. I was at the point of tears over the sad refrain. She rolled laughing until she cried too.

Cathy loves to work, while I have my nose in a book- she can completely clean out her closet. I still love getting her hand me downs. It makes my day for the phone to ring and hear Cathy say- ‘Hey Doll…how’s my sweet sis?’  Before I know it, we’re sailing away on some bizarre  interesting voyage to an insanely funny place. Thanks for drifting along with me as I’ve shared the Sailor Girls with you. Wherever she is, you can be sure she’s working hard and making the world a brighter place. Now, you know you’ll hear about her again; just wanted to introduce you to my sister, one of the Sailor Girls– the cute one on the left. This Sailor Girl’s  life is richer because of my sister, Cathy.

Love y’all, Camellia

*This is one of my favorite photographs of the two of us!

Storybook Wisdom…

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The most profound wisdom often comes from children’s storybooks…One of my all time favorite lessons for adults is found in The Velveteen Rabbit, written in 1958, by Margery Williams. Read along with me and find the Storybook Wisdom from the Skin Horse to the Velveteen Rabbit, who wanted to know what it meant to be Real-

‘Real isn’t how you are made’ said the Skin Horse, ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’

‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.

‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’velveteen-rabbit-and-the-skin-horse

‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’

‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.’velveteen-rabbit-and-skin-horse-on-being-real


Storybook Wisdom…on being Real. It doesn’t happen if you break easily, have sharp edges or have to be carefully kept. Hair loved off, eyes falling out, loose in the joints and very shabby, now that’s Real- Shabby Chic if you ask me. Can I get a witness? Have a blessed day!

Love y’all, Camellia

*Image of Margery Williams’ Velveteen Rabbit – hardback edition from Amazon.com, other images are from http://www.commons.wikimedia.org

*As a programming note:) – Cook and Enjoy Recipes honored Camellia’s Cottage allowing us a guest post on their site for ‘Bighearted Casseroles’Bighearted Casseroles – wow what an honor!