On this – the 15th anniversary of 9/11- I hope you will find encouragement from the beautiful Stalwart Pear- the last living thing removed from the rubble… Love y’all, Camellia
This little dogwood tree struggles and survives every year despite it’s poor location, yet it reminds me of another tree, ‘The Quickened Stalwart Pear’, found in chapter 38 of my book- ‘Four Days- the Lazarus Principle’
Here is an excerpt with some added emphasis…
“Go with me…to New York City. While we were there we visited the 911 Memorial. I was expecting to be moved by it. I was expecting to feel anger. That is not what I felt – I felt anoverwhelming sadness for what America had lost…the loss of a type of innocence which turned many of our people into distrustful cynics. A harsh rhetoric, indicative of anger and fear has descended on our people…
The most hopeful thing of all in that tragic somber place was a Stalwart Pear Tree, known as the Survivor Tree. It is now 30 feet tall and was the last living…
Southern women are sensitive about Southern Trees. We’ve been known to tell architects they cannot add onto that side of the house because, well- it would mean cutting down a beloved tree. Against all advice to contrary, Southern women have said a tree cannot be cut down- ‘ Just build the porch around it, and you better make sure the opening in the floorboards are bigenough for that tree to grow!’ Perfectly reasonable to me. Selling property in the South? The best selling points for Southern Real Estate are:
Double Wide Mobile Home with nice wooded lot
Lake House with great views of the lake and nice wooded lot.
Farm has pasture land and nice wooded area surrounding the farmhouse.
If the wooded lot you’re selling has a Magnolia Tree on it, that ups the value of the property immensely. We Southern ladies don’t talk about it much – but there are women who fiercely protect their Magnolia Trees. The pitiful women who don’t have Magnolia Trees have been known to beg,borrow or steal Magnolia Leaves especially during the holidays or for special occasions– a wedding, funeral or open house. The lucky women who own Magnolia Trees have been known to get put outand even stingy with their Magnolia leaves!
I guess you could say- we’re tree proud. I made a list recently of the different types of Southern Trees we have in our yard. Dogwoods, Redbuds, Glory Bower, Red Oak, White Oak, Pin Oak, Water Oak,Hackberry, Sweetgum, Poplar, Elm and Black Walnut- Southern Yellow Pines and the darkly mysterious common Cedar Tree. My grandmother always said to get rid of Cedar Trees because ‘When a cedar tree gets tall enough to shade your grave, you’ll die’…How she knew this I’ll never know- but I believed her. My husband thinks that’s an old wives tale but he did remove a Cedar Tree because it was getting in the way of a Dogwood I wanted him to save. Bless his heart.
South Alabama has the big bearded beauties, Live Oaks- Southerners have been known toexperience deep grief, especially when a Live Oak is damaged or dies. Live Oaks are the stuff movies are made of- the story has been told that a famous actress came south to do a movie and the setting was laced with Live Oaks- it was rumored the actress thought we did that just for her! We have renowned hospitality, but humans didn’t do that for her- the Southis just blessed with Live Oaks dripping with Spanish Moss.
What we don’t tell folks who aren’t from around here- If you want to collect Spanish moss as a souvenir- before you get home you’ll have chigger bites all over! Henry Ford once had the bright idea to stuff his car cushions with the abundance of Spanish Moss found in Alabama- only to discover those pesky chiggers were a big problem. For Southern folks who are still looking up North for their valuables…they think chigger bites are a fitting punishment for thieves who try to confiscate our Spanish Moss!
Southern women are more apt to forgive our Trees of theirshortcomings than we are of other infractions that come our way. We never forgiveHurricanes- male or female- for taking down our Southern Trees. Frederick, Rita, Ivan, and that hateful girl Katrina, we will never forgive you.
Yet if our Southern Tree roots break up a driveway or a sidewalk, well- ancestors have been known to break up and make things interesting too. It’s part of who we are- our roots are important. We make the necessary adjustments. If a tree grows crooked, lays an arm on the grass or we have to make a path skirt around a family tree- that’s what you do for your folks. You make allowances, you put up with a bit of a mess- pesky squirrels, tassles, colorful fallen leaves, prickly cones, burrs and bonafide Nuts. Southern Trees are like eccentric relatives, colorful kinfolks and outright Nuts- they’re the stuff our legends are made of
.
Some trees are clannish–
Pines stand together swaying and whispering
Dogwoods clump together in their lacy dresses like Sorority Girls
Redbuds circle up- conspiring to bloom where they are planted. Stubborn enough to bloom for just a brief few weeks in the Spring.
We love our trees. Southern trees bloom, Shade us from the hot summer sunshine, Spread their branches to cradle nests while the squirrels are acting like nuts. Hickory trees give their lives so we can have that pit barbeque we so love. Trees let us hang a swing or spread out quilts for a snooze, a picnic or a family photograph. We’re as tree proud as any folks I know. Our roots spread out and run deep. We like it that way, nuts, squirrels, skeeters, chiggers and all.
Love y’all, Camellia
Thanks to Jeremy Miniard for the photographs of beautiful homeplaces in Alabama. Thanks to Denis for her photographs of the hauntingly beautiful Live Oaks.
‘You’re lookin’ a little dry, darling’…When a friend interrupts you to say that, well it’s time to take a look in the mirror, Cinderella. Actually, when summer ends and Septemberbegins… we all may be lookin’ a little dry. Where is that Ponce de Leon when we need him? He came South looking for the Fountain of Youth and left us with just part of it- Water. Drinking water is one of the easiest and best ways- internally– to keep skin looking good.
After years of working in fragrance and cosmetics- I hope you will look at your skincare, makeup and even sunscreen products- if these three are at the top of the list of ingredients:
Water
Mineral Oil
Alcohol
You need to re-think what you are putting directly on your skin. I can just feel y’all running to look at the labels! All three will dry out the skin. You need to have something as a barrier between the skin and those ingredients. So what to do? The simple answer is this- for aging skin in particular– Our grandmothers were right to clean their complexions with coldcream or even lard. Toss facial soaps and commercial face cleansers unless your skin is very oily. Home remedies– right out of our pantries, may actually be better and healthier for aging skin. Facial skin is delicate and thins as we age. Olive Oil would be my cleanser of choice and a natural barrier between your skin, makeup and even sunscreen– all may contain harsh chemicals. Olive Oil has amazing properties-
Packed with good fatty acids
Vitamins and Minerals
Absorbs into the Skin quickly with no Residue
Has Powerful Antioxidants
Helps maintain Elasticity
Now if any of you have underwear with the elastic waistband stretched out…well you get the picture. Aging skin gets fine lines, is crepe-y and sags. I know, it’s depressing. Nourishing it with Olive Oil is a good start.
Soybean Oil is another good option-it also absorbs into the skin quickly and while it doesn’t have the power of Olive Oil- it does contain Plant Based Estrogen which is another good thing for aging skin. Mix the two together and you have a very good makeup remover and all purpose face and body product. Besides, it’s biblical to anoint yourself with oil!
Now- as skin ages, it doesn’t renew as quickly- so if we can give it a little help with exfoliation– the skin will look better almost immediately. Let me tell you a little story…I had a customer years ago- who was in her early 70’s, she obviously could buy any products- she bought $250 bottles of fragrance without batting one of her adorable eyelashes; but she never bought our face and body products. She had beautiful skin. She would just politely decline, as any refinedSouthern Lady knows how todo.
I couldn’t stand it…curiosity was killing this cat. One day I asked her what she used on her beautiful skin- She told me she used what her plastic surgeon told her to use…Not to be deterred I said, ‘You don’t look like you’ve had any ..ah- hem…work done!‘ She had an eyelift, but nothing else. Long story short – it wasn’t a product- it was a recipe! Basically a combination of the two oils I have just shown you- Soybean and Olive Oil.
Mix it 2/1 ratio of Soybean to Olive Oil. If you don’t need the Estrogen, use straight Olive Oil. I became a firm believer in her all natural skincare product. Still, because aging skin doesn’t renew as quickly as it once did- an all natural exfoliant will get you started. Using some information I had garnered from working with skincare- including several ‘allnatural’ lines- I came up with this one- straight from the pantry. It is powerful and is not tobe used on a daily basis but just to get you started turning over those old dead skin cells! Here’s my Heavy Duty September Salted Skin Scrub–
1/4 cup of Mild Pure Olive Oil (this does not have to be an expensive olive oil)
1/4 cup of Soybean Oil
2-3 Tablespoons of Granulated Non-Fat Milk Powder
1 Tablespoon Black Hawaiian Lava Sea Salt- you can use Epsom Salts in place of the Black Sea Salt
1 -2 Tablespoons of Fine Sea Salt
Zest of one medium size Lemon and-
The Juice of one half of the Lemon
Combine these to make a paste, mine looked gray because of the black lava salt.
Blend thoroughly until it has a thick paste texture. Let it sit for a few minutes, while I explain the benefits of the other ingredients beyond the Olive Oil and Soybean Oil-
The coarse natural salts are what make this a heavy duty scrub, not recommended for daily use but to kickstart the turnover of skin cells! Black Sea Salt has a larger grain than the Sea Salt, as does Epsom Salts, if you choose to use that instead. Salts–
Exfoliate
Bring Moisture to Surface of the Skin
Plumps the Skin naturally
Kills Bacteria
Encourages Skin Regeneration
Reduces Inflammation
Lemon zest is where the Essential Oil of the Lemon resides, and it adds another texture to exfoliate- it is powerful stuff! The Zest and Lemon Juice-
Shrink Open Pores
Tighten Skin Tissue
Increase Skin Elasticity
Brighten the Skin
Lightens Age Spots
Evens Skin Tone
Reduce Fine Lines and Wrinkles.
Granular Powdered Dry Milk is another powerhouse! The texture of the granular dry milk is part of the exfoliant. Milk is another powerful ingredient to use topically, you won’t believe all it can do. Even Cleopatra knew Milk was good for the skin! Here’s what she may not have known, bless her heart! Milk is-
A Natural Source of Vitamin D
Hydrates and Softens Skin
Contains Mild Alpha Hydroxy Acid properties
Reduces Appearance of Aging
Lightens Age Spots
Repairs Sun Damage
Complete Protein with Calcium and Potassium
Contains all 21 Amino Acids
Alright ladies, start your September Skincare! Here’s the Method:
Cleanse the face and neck with a tissue dipped in Olive Oil-
Take a small amount of the Heavy Duty Scrub-
Starting on the forehead, working down the face, over the nose-
Avoiding the delicate tissues around the eyes!
Moving across the upper lip and around the mouth, chin and down the neck-
Scrub lightly!! Use circular motions- gently scrub
Then let the oils absorb into the skin before removing the residue with a Warm Damp Cloth.
Your skin will feel tingly and lightly damp.
With a clean tissue, apply a fine coating of Olive Oil.
When it absorbs – you will love the way your skin feels! Refrigerate the excess scrub, it will stay fresh about 3 days. I plan to use it again on the third day and wait another month or so and do it again. Men can also benefit from this all natural scrub! Feel free to use the rest of the scrub when you shower as a body scrub! Now, drink your water, anoint yourself with oil, scrub occasionally – then you won’t look dry. That’s straight from Ponce de Leonetta! As a bonus for those of you have read all of this- Listen to that good ol’ boy who could use a little Heavy Duty Skin Scrub himself….none other than WillieNelson, singing September Song. It’s a good reminder to take care of ourselves and the ones we love- for the days do really go by from May til September…
The late great Pat Conroy, wrote a cookbook that is one of my all time favorites- he has one chapter called ‘Why Dying Down South is More Fun’. In my collection of local, state and regional cookbooks- they don’t come right out and have chapters devoted to funeral food– but if you’re from the South- well…let’s just say we know that the cooks who offer the submissions have gotten a whole lot of compliments on the dishes they took to comfort those who mourn. We also know which ones don’t comfort- they afflict. You don’t take hot spicy foods like Pit Barbeque- which might conjure up the image of ‘hellfire and damnation’-though the grieving family will graciously accept any and all offerings in the spirit in which they are given. Pat Conroy makes note that when anyone dies in the South, ‘the pigs getnervous’– I would add – ‘the chickens get nervous and stop layin’. Fried chicken shows how muchyou care, stuffed eggs are always welcome and a baked ham feeds a crowd. Stuffed Eggs are the appropriate term for funeral food– no one in his right mind would dare called them ‘Devilled Eggs’. We prize stuffed eggs so much we have plates with little egg shaped indentions passed down from one generation to the next, I have my grandmother’s white egg plate. Women have Pyrex dishes with their names inked on masking tape for Dinner on the Ground, Memorial Day and holidays but mostly for funeral food. These glass dishes might be ensconced in a silver holder with little legs or just plain glass- but all are filled withconcoctions to die for- they’re so divine. You can count on hearing- ‘Has anyone seen my 9×12 Pyrex dish?’ in the days and weeks to follow a funeral.
In the South, when you don’t know what tosay- taking comfort food is the very best thing to do. We hope after the funeral, folks will eat as good or better than at Thanksgiving or Christmas- we don’t want anyone to worry about what to eat, when they are struggling.
I try to keep a Bereavement Pound Cake in the freezer- my pound cakes freeze very well due to the high fat content and being wrapped tightly. I’ve never kept one frozen for very long-to have a Pound Cake on hand has truly been a lifesaver…well, alife might have been lost but a ham, a casserole or a pound cake- is comforting, goes a long way and can feed the multitudes.
Mostly teetotalers-we don’t talk about it very much, but we do value the medicinalnumbing qualities of strong drink– we might nurse it, we just don’t advertise it. The South has produced the finest beverages in the world- Sweet Tea, Co-Cola, Bourbon, Jack Daniels,Muscadine Wine; even Rum, all of which do bringa nip of comfortto afflicted mourners.
We once attended a memorial service for a local Historian whose specialty was the War between the States. This man wanted his service to be authentic-held in a historic home he knew was being restored. The Committee decided unanimously not to restore thebullet-riddled transom over the door from a little skirmish during the war-ah. The house was opened to honor this man. The Honor Guard was in full regalia worn for ‘re-enactments’ – which to be honest, are exercises infutility since we’re never gonna pull this thing out, but the men seem to enjoy it. The revered Historian wanted to be cremated and his ashes strewn on the closest battlefield- which caused a bit of an rippit from some of the older set, who still think six feet under Alabama Marble is the most dignified way to go. The Historian’s service was planned down to a tee, the house was spruced up and the wide foyer was set with folding chairs facing a flag draped altar with the urn on top– all ready for the next day. One of the men brought in the big punch bowl to sit on the sideboard- he had obtained the old recipe from 1786 for Chatham Artillery Punch. It has to preserve for two days! The night before, he offered some of it as solace for the men who had to get things ready for the Historian. The ladies had bought ginger ale to substitute for that whole case of champagne. It was hot and humid- some of the men thought they would have a toast to their fallen. No one thought the bugle playin’ brother was in such bad shape- he got punch drunk. The day of the service, the ladies like to have died when they found out Brother wasn’t able to play ‘Taps’– some even fumed they were going to kill the whole regiment!
One of the revelers brought in a boom box instead of the bugle; the Honor Guard decided that despite the events of the night before- the Historian rightly deserved the wholecase of champagne instead of the ginger ale-and unapologetically handed the widow an icy cup of punch to settle her nerves. During the service the widow slowly slid off the horsehair sofa onto the oriental rug. The Chaplin finished up his rather long eulogy. The Honor Guard stood at attention as the static-y ‘Taps’ blared; they filed somberly out of the foyer onto the grounds, while someone discreetly re-seated the grieving widow. Outside, instead of a synchronized 21gun salute- it sounded like a bunch of firecrackers going off as the antique guns fired away. The mourners were glad they stayed inside and actually lived to die anotherday.
Now, like all good Southern stories, this one is part myth, part truth and part outright lies– however, to show good faith…If you will be careful when and how you use it- here is the recipe for Chatham Artillery Punch, from the Savannah River House which will no doubt resurface again.
However, I would like to make this perfectly clear- Southern Ladies are taught it is coarse and common to drink, chug or slurp. A true lady sips. Coffee, water, tea or something to numb the pain…a lady always holds cups, glasses or plates in a delicate hand with the elbow at the waistline; and honestly sliding off a sofa is just not done under normal circumstances.
Oh Law, I hope you don’t die laughing, but if you do? Please come South, we’ll take care of you.
Love y’all, Camellia
Find Pat Conroy’s Cookbook on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other major booksellers!
Casket photo is from http://www.bjwinslow.com Other images are either mine or from AOL images, please advise if any copyright applies.
‘Do no great things, only small things with great love.’Mother Teresa
The year was 1994, in a bone chilling month of February- we made our way to Washington DC. As the taxi drove us from the airport past the Potomac, the water was not flowing, it was filled with boulder chunks of ice. We were there to attend the National PrayerBreakfast at the invitation of our congressman, Glen Browder. Alabama was the host state for thePrayerBreakfast. We were going to be eyewitnesses to this remarkable event. And while this was an amazing invitation- we had also decided to make it a religious pilgrimage of sorts. We visited the landmark New York Avenue Presbyterian Church where Chaplin of the U.S. Senate, Dr. Peter Marshall, delivered heartrendingly beautiful sermons and prayers, during World War II and beyond. This is a very historical church just 4 blocks from the White House, where morethan eight U.S. presidents, cabinet members, congressmen and justices of the Supreme Court worshipped- beginning with John Quincy Adams. Abraham Lincoln attended services there during the War. His famous Gettysburg Address had coined the phrase ‘One Nation under God’ -more than 80 years later, Lincoln’s address inspired Scottish born Peter Marshall’s sermon ‘A New Birth of Freedom’, which he delivered on another freezing February day. That sermon inspired Dwight Eisenhower and others to amend the Pledge of Allegiance addingLincoln’s phrase. Martin Luther King Jr. would later give an impassioned address in this same church. And long after we had come home- this church provided prayer and comfort to the capitol city after 9/11.
We were taken by an official bus and dropped off very close to the presidential motorcade, parked exactly where President Reagan had been shot a few years before. Ushered in and seated on the front row at table fourin a huge ballroom, the room was packed. The security was tight. We listened in rapt attention at the amazing Tuskegee Choir from Alabama. We could not believe we were there, much less on the front row- eyewitnesses to history, why, we were in the presence of national leaders inour nation’s capitol city, along with citizens just like ourselves, however- seated at our table were two missionaries fromJapan. When I asked them where their missionary field was- these lovely Asian people said- ‘We believe that the people of the UnitedStates need to hear the gospel of JesusChrist’…To this day, I am moved by the profound love and kindness in that simple statement.
What must folks from foreign countries think of the American people? From the news media to print to music to lifestyle- what conclusion would a person who is not from the United States draw from all of the disagreeable messages we send out across this globe?
The keynote speaker at the 1994 National Prayer Breakfast was Mother Teresa of the Sisters ofCharity in Calcutta. The speech was very long- the news media drew from her profound words a few statements and conclusions– when actually Mother Teresa had so very muchmore to say than what the headlines distilled and became politically charged rhetoric.
I was there, I can tell you firsthand that this tiny woman, Mother Teresa was a mesmerizing figure. A two step high platform was placed behind the podium and still her head couldbarely be seen from our tables on the front row. On our tables, along with the program was a bookmark with her words on them- I won’t quote them verbatim due to length- however, I recall being enlightened to the point I am still moved to tears whenever I think of them- Mother Teresa’s words were-
When you see the poor and pitiful
When you see the maimed or mental
When you see therejected and despised
When you see the orphaned or sick
When you see the hungry or the homeless…
Look into their eyes- ‘You are looking into the Eyes of Jesus’
‘When I was hungry you fed me, when I was thirsty you gave me drink…when you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto Me.’
from Matthew 25:35
Mother Teresa’s ministry was among the ‘poorest of the poor’in the streets of Calcutta, India The Sisters of Charity literally feed, clothe, pick worms and vermin off the heads of the poor- they clean their stricken bodies, clothe them and put them in clean beds, give them meager bowls of rice or broth; and often hold a quiet vigil as the least of humanity die in the comfort of a clean bed. The Sisters of Charity know they are looking into the Eyes of Jesus.
The ballroom that freezing winter day, was hushed into a reverent silence as she spoke unforgettable words. We had no idea that this tiny remarkable person would walk this earth only a few more years.Later I read that a nun in New York City begged to come work in Calcutta alongside the Sisters of Charity. Mother Teresa said-
‘Find your own Calcutta. Find the sick, the suffering and the lonely right where you are.’
That is what we all must do, beginning in our homes, spreading out into our communities, unto those who are outcasts.. even unto the ends of the earth, we must look at a suffering world andsee the Eyes of Jesus. interpreted from Mark 16:15
Find your own Calcutta. Look for the Eyes of Jesus. The world is watching.
Love y’all, Camellia
photographs from AOL images, except the bottom one from the wonderful book- ‘Come and See’ by Linda Schaeffer- which we edited.
Women have Pyrex dishes with their names inked on masking tape for Dinner on the Ground, Memorial Day and holidays but mostly for funeral food. These glass dishes might be ensconced in a silver holder with little legs or just plain glass- but all are filled with concoctions to die for- they’re so divine. You can count on hearing- ‘Has anyone seen my 9×12 Pyrex dish?’ in the days and weeks to follow a funeral.
The Historian’s service was planned down to a tee, the house was spruced up and the wide foyer was set with folding chairs facing a flag draped altar with the urn on top– all ready for the next day. One of the men brought in the big punch bowl to sit on the sideboard- he had obtained the old recipe from 1786 for Chatham Artillery Punch. It has to preserve for two days! The night before, he offered some of it as solace for the men who had to get things ready for the Historian. The ladies had bought ginger ale to substitute for that whole case of champagne. It was hot and humid- some of the men thought they would have a toast to their fallen. No one thought the bugle playin’ brother was in such bad shape- he got punch drunk. The day of the service, the ladies like to have died when they found out Brother wasn’t able to play ‘Taps’– some even fumed they were going to kill the whole regiment! 
Camellia's Cottage 