Going Away Outfit…

2823124a-f856-4894-a1ac-30945ecce7b9.jpegWeddings have always been a big deal in the South, so you have to know Southern Mothers are reading everything they can get their hands on about the Royal Wedding…You see, we crown our daughters for everything known to man. It’s that royalty thing, I guess…

  • Weddings are supposed to be the one day of the year that a lady feels like Queen for a Day.
  • We hope the groom feels like he’s getting the deal of a lifetime.
  • The bride’s daddy hopes this fellow has at least a few irons in the fire and gainful employment to support his daughter in the style she deserves- Daddy’s gonna take it as a personal insult if he’s given permission to a man who turns out to be a deadbeat.
  • We hope the bride will swoon whenever she sees her groom- the perfect gentleman- okay, we also hope she’ll feel for lifetime, like Jane seeing Tarzan-or at the very least Buster Crabbe!
  • By the wedding day, the mother of the bride, hopefully will have satisfied herself, barring a criminal background check- that the young man has a sufficient pedigree to marry into the family. That his people go back at least three generations right here in Alabama! We must have a decent write up in the paper after all!

When the engagement is settled- the planning and partying begins….lest anyone think this is fun- let me disabuse you of that notion. A few days into the engagement – which should be a reasonable amount of time not years…(long engagements make daddy think the groom is shiftless, aimless or the groom doesn’t have honorable intentions)…and there’s the other reason, rarely stated- the longer this engagement goes on? The more the wedding is going to cost! Little bitty homemade bird seed bags for throwing turns into a flock of released doves, a small afternoon reception at the church turns into an all out champagne filled country club event… you get the picture.  At any rate- just a few days after the engagement…there are only two people still excited about this wedding – the mother of the bride and the bride! Ultimately, no one is excited except the Bride. Everybody has started worrying about the money…money, money, money…that’s all Daddy, the bridesmaids (who have issues as well) and the groom secretly worries about the money- ok, not so secret. How much is this wedding going to cost anyway? And how many parties did you say?AA0DBA26-F8C7-49A7-A577-6A23227EE508

There’s the formal engagement party- the registering for gifts, the formal teas, the sip and sees, the informal showers, the bridesmaids’ luncheon, the after rehearsal party and just when you’d think everyone has suffered enough- there’s the actual wedding, the reception and the honeymoon, by then everyone is sayin’ -‘I thought we’d never get that wedding over with!’ And then there’s the thank you notes but let’s not give ourselves a headache over that one just yet!

In between all of this – there are the clothes to wear to all of these events!  The bride has the added burden of not only-

  • a wedding dress, dresses for teas, showers, sip and sees and luncheons-
  • the Bride also had to have a trousseau,
  • a peignoir set for her wedding night,
  • honeymoon wardrobe and oh yes!
  • The Going Away Outfit!

B012247A-7495-49BB-90E8-4B5348016B16I have not read one word about the royal bride’s going away outfit! Why would any bride in her right mind give up an excuse to have another outfit?  Are Going Away Outfits out of style? Surely not! If there’s no Going Away Outfit to round out the write up in the paper… ‘The Bride and Groom have planned a honeymoon to Chattanooga.. ( Atlanta, New Orleans or Jekyl Island). The bride wore a worsted wool suit that matched her bridesmaids dresses, the groom wore… after their honeymoon, the happy couple plans to make their home in…’ Do you see what I’m talking about? With no Going Away Outfit, there isn’t a decent way to end the write-up in the newspaper! Whatever happened to good write-ups anyway?8482a35a-bc6c-4543-98e2-fdffccd5e8e4.jpeg

The Going Away Outfit was usually a suit or a nice dress with a corsage or  handheld nosegay as they rushed to the getaway car, waving and smiling for the camera. Not only was the Going Away Outfit a fitting way to leave after the wedding…after all, the wedding dress had to be boxed up- ready to send to Berthon’s Blue Ribbon Cleaners and preserved for future generations.42A279F8-8F5F-4B47-BDC4-FB52556D3ACA

The Going Away Outfit was symbolic- it represented a change of status for the bride. Recently, a few friends were discussing this subject and we were dismayed to think these Going Away Outfits could possibly be outdated. My own was a wool suit the same color of the Tropicana Roses in the center of my wedding bouquet and my bridesmaids bouquets too. It was a double breasted number with tortoise shell buttons, I had well made brown leather pumps which would come in handy to wear to church, weddings or even funerals later. One friend said her going away outfit was a brown striped church dress- which her sister borrowed a few months later as her own going away outfit. The rules for the Going Away Outfit were few- 112D02C8-9091-4A55-B944-2F56500F4B1D

  • It should be well made- befitting of her status as a married woman,
  • it should have a reasonably high neck- no low cut skimpy trashiness allowed!
  • The suit or dress should be knee length, not hiked up, with slits or a suggestively short skirt, ahem…
  • We’re not talking overtly matronly but let’s face it- when Queen for a Day is over- you’re headed into Matron of Honor territory, darling!

One friend was finishing up her senior year at Auburn University where she was majoring in fashion design, she made her own going away outfit! This was no easy task! She was taking a tailoring class, she had to design her own flat patterns with measurements taken from a ‘make your own dressform’ which entailed wrapping the body in gauze and flour starch, carefully removing it and mounting it on a stand. She decided to make a linen dress- a sheath dress cut on the bias in what else but Camellia Pink? and a matching Camellia Pink Boucle Coat with lining to perfectly match.

EDCE48EB-5E20-4458-AA23-CAAAC72A8084She married in mid March, so she wouldn’t graduate before her wedding- now, really can you imagine, planning a wedding and making the outfit and all of the rest of it? A dear friend and member of the wedding party, found the perfect two tone leather shoes to match at Kessler’s in downtown Birmingham. Ultimately, she had an orchid corsage and matching handbag to boot! She blushingly recalls that her wedding night peignoir set was white- okay, what other color would it be? So was mine! High neck, lace insertion- literally the whole nine yards…but I’m getting off on a tangent. Another friend married close to Valentine’s Day so her Going Away Outfit was American Beauty Red, she’s been married 35 years and still has her Going Away Outfit- okay…not the skirt but the jacket! The other smiling bride wore a medium green linen suit, while her new husband was decked out in striped shirt and casual pants! Now, why, may you ask was this Going Away Outfit considered  necessary?

B012247A-7495-49BB-90E8-4B5348016B16The bride has been trussed up in her wedding gown…endured photographs, the receiving line, the reception- perhaps the toasts, the cutting of the cake, the first dance and made the rounds to meet and greet the guests.

Imagine it, if you will… she discreetly withdraws from the wedding party- her wedding dress is carefully removed, folded away in it’s box or bagged…she changes into her Going Away Outfit… has a sweet moment with her handsome groom- hair is rearranged and makeup refreshed before she steps out of her bandbox- tosses her bouquet- hugs her mother, he hugs his… FDA17986-05C3-4A76-872B-87853CF5D899

Amid showers of rice, flower petals or birdseed, the bride is squired by her groom to the waiting car, like the dainty and delightful confection that she is- the car door closes with a solid satisfying thud.

C3ADBD7B-8629-486B-94E7-9DC928AEFE0DA box of wedding cake, cheese straws and toasted pecans is handed through the window. The happy couple smiles for one last photograph. Etiquette dictates the guests should stay until the couple leaves for their honeymoon… Sighs are heard among the crowd… ‘I thought they’d never leave!’

I sort of hate it that Going Away Outfits have Gone with the Wind… Here’s the importance of it- presumably, when the bride reappears in her Going Away Outfit, it represents her new status as a married lady, outfitted and ready to take on her new responsibilities- in her home, her workplace and her community. I think it was a sweet tradition and I still maintain- a wonderful way for the bride’s parents to make sure their daughter is prepared for the new important occasions in her life. Let’s face it, for the bride- an opportunity to get an extra nice outfit! Oh me, going down memory lane is fun!

Love y’all, Camellia

*A huge thank you to the Southern Brides who agreed to share their photos! All photographs were edited by me- they are the sole property of the community of Camellia’s Cottage and should never be used without permission. Can’t resist sharing one more…. No bride or the families can ever do it alone! There’s a whole community of folks behind the scenes- helping make it all possible- and that never goes out of style!dffa4905-aaeb-4792-a240-7176dba4fb53.jpeg

*Buster Crabbe was the original actor who played Tarzan, just in case you’re still wondering.


Bathing Suits…

IMG_2498I’ve put this off for 7 years. I don’t believe in jumping in headfirst. I stuck my toe in the water yesterday-  it’s almost Open Toe Season in Alabama- I went and got a pedicure, with red polish- of course. The classic summer toenail color in the South is red,  I chose ‘Big Apple’ because truth be told I’d rather be headed to New York City than on a Beach trip where I’ll actually be expected to go in the water. Oh lord, those are scary words. Shopping for a Bathing Suit is painful, especially for a woman of a certain age and stature.  My whole demeanor, posture and bearing change in a dressing room full of bathing suits. Let me make this clear- I live in Alabama, her coastline is one of the most beautiful in all the world- I’ve been going to the beach since I was a child and love it.

However, I stopped wearing Two Piece numbers a good many years ago- they weren’t for swimming anyway. Two Piece Suits are reserved for laying out. A traumatic experience with a Two Piece happened when I was 13 years old taught me a hard lesson. Now, I was never allowed to wear Bikinis- I carried that rule into adulthood- you know the old ‘Don’t look trashy, much less act trashy’ rule, the older I got the more I liked the rule. A Two Piece is different than a Bikini, apparently Bikinis were in the trashy category, because my mother was always looking for Bathing Suits which were:

  • Decent
  • Modest
  • Not Too Revealing.
  • Wholesome.
  • And leave Something to the Imagination, if you get my drift.

Now, take a look at my aunt, she has on a decent One Piece- she was just 4′ 11′ tall! Tiny. IMG_2529Now look at the writing on the back of one of those pictures of my Aunt Iva- she married out of the faith…and apparently started wearing bathing suits! Our Southern Mothers could be harsh when it came to Bathing Suits! IMG_2532

They adored each other and apparently got matching black suits one year.  I loved them both!

IMG_2533A decent Two Piece Bathing Suit became acceptable when Annette Funicello was transformed from a cute Mouseketeer to a wholesome Beach Beauty . So, at age 13, barely out of my Mouseketeer Ears-I had a brand new Two Piece Bathing Suit that looked remarkably like Wonder Woman’s outfit- I was emboldened by it. I was going to take it out for a swim- a Dive was more like it. I went to the club early, hardly anyone was swimming… thank goodness. Mothers of toddlers were sitting sedately by the Baby Pool, a few golfers were practicing on the Putting Green nearby- this place was no Dive, it was a nice place where nice decent people went. The pool was Olympic sized for the Swim Team (which I wasn’t on). There was a Diving Well with a Low Board and a High Dive. I put everything in it’s place with my Two Piece and climbed up the steps, then walked all the way out to the end; now, don’t think I was brave enough to actually dive, I’m afraid of heights…Let me stop right here- all of this ‘face your fears mess’ is nonsense.IMG_1397

I walked to the end of the diving board afraid to even make it spring, then I jumped off- Mid-air? The top of my Two Piece popped, slid down to my elbows, then slipped off as I entered the water! The cups were floating on top of the water!! Horrifying! I might have been able to escape notice except over by the ladder was TR – the boy who cut our grass!! He was trying out his new underwater mask, bubbling- he had gotten a full view of…oh I can’t bear to say it! Indecent, trashy, nothing left to the imagination. I surfaced at Wonder Woman speed, grabbed that Top and… I believe I still hold the Underwater Record at that club for swimming out of the diving well, around and down the full length of that Olympic size Pool and managed to get my bathing suit top back on while doing it! I didn’t look back, I struggled out of the water, walked to the dressing room, changed into decent street clothes and abandoned my swim career … forever. My decent Two Piece had turned into indecent exposure– Traumatic.  I didn’t get another decent Two Piece until I was a freshman in college- I never went in the pool or ocean when I wore it – ‘My hair, I can’t get my hair wet’ was my constant refrain. I used the Two Piece to lay out in the sun.  We don’t say sunbathe in the South. We work on a Tan. We lay out in the sun. There are two types of ‘laying out’ in the South…

  • there is the acceptable- ‘laying out in the sun’
  • and the unacceptable ‘laying out all night.’

I love the sun- I love the ocean, I love the beach, I still love laying out by the pool. And let me just say here- ‘Ah ad-mire’ women who rebel against their mommas and wear Bikinis- I never cultivated that kind of confidence! I wore bathing suits, even Two Piece bathing suits over the years when I was young but I didn’t swim, I laid out. When my children were young, I became a Southern Martyr- I was a Pack Animal while they were on the water slides or whatever thrill it was. Several years ago- I swore off Bathing Suits altogether. I decided that the Crime of wearing a Bathing Suit was worse than the Cover Up. I have walked our beloved Alabama Beaches in Cover Ups for years now- getting older has it’s perks. I told myself-

‘Ah’m not going to in-flict mah-self on the general public anymore’

This year is different, I have to buy a Bathing Suit. Our summer vacation is an Island Vacation like 7 years ago when we went to Atlantis® in the Caribbean. That time, I tried to be a good sport, I wore a Bathing Suit, put my things in a locker so we could ride the Inner Tubes- I did not consider this to be fun, the water was freezing…but what topped it off was the sitting in a wet bathing suit eating lunch by one of their million pools- I didn’t realize I would be sharing a seat with two yellow jackets! Zzzz ! They were not amused. The yellow jackets took offense when I sat down on them. The stings were bad, I am allergic to bee stings- the Health Hut recommended Benedryl®- I’m not saying I looked like a beached whale, maybe a dolphin- but when that stuff took effect, I wasn’t just layin’ out– I was laid out, down for the count.

This year, this vacation -my family isn’t going along with the old- ‘I’ll be the pack animal, I might get stung, My hair, my hair’  excuses.  So I’m easing into the idea…I’m taking it slow, I am perusing catalogs that have Bathing Suits which cater to all figure types, I wish they would label the suits for what they are –

  • ‘When you’ve put on a little weight, Darlin’
  • Things have gone South, precious’ -or-
  •  ‘Bless your heart, holds you in, but you’re going to have trouble breathing’ style.  Better yet-
  • Decent. Not Too Revealing. Modest.

I dread dressing room mirrors- where you can see all sides. Now really, who wants to see blinding white legs, sagging knees – it’s demoralizing.  So, I’m taking this slow. It’s Open Toe Season in the South- I got my toes wet yesterday when I got a pedicure, I’m looking at catalogs with fear and trembling- I’m thinking of getting a Spray Tan before I hit the dressing room, I’m definitely going with a One Piece and I’ve ordered a full length Black Caftan- a brilliant Cover Up, don’t you think?

Oh lord, unlike most Southern tales, this one is not Part Outright Lies, Part Myth and Part Truth- this one is the Truth and nothing but… Stay tuned.

Love y’all, Camellia

*All photographs are from our family album with the exception of the opening photograph which was taken from the front of a card years ago- no known source; and the ‘diver’ which is from a vintage set of encyclopedias here at Camellia’s Cottage.

Winter in the Deep South…


After the beautiful weather we’ve had this week, it’s hard to believe that just a few weeks ago, we had snow! That’s Winter in the Deep South for you.  The Seasons here are like a big family, we love to show off our Spring Beauties in all of their glory days, we have loads of fun with the Triplets- Lake, Bay and Gulf Coast in Summer, then we long for the weather to cool off for when the fun, colorful cousins-Fall, Foliage, Football and Holly Days arrive. But Winter in the Deep South is the fickle eccentric side of the family. Snow is like the flighty aunt who lives way up above the Mason Dixon Line, who makes sneaky calls to the weatherman sayin’ she’s coming home but changes her mind at the last minute. Aunt Snow is mostly a no-show, but when she does drift down it’s a surprise visit. She comes breezing in and before she can wear out her welcome she’s gone- leaving us to wonder when or if we’ll ever see her again. Snow is the most fickle weather condition in the Deep South. This sun-filled winter week, the flowering quince is showing out and bulbs are pushing up foliage- like when our colorful sun-loving cousins are around, quirky things happen. It’s because we’re having another weather pattern that actually does happen every Winter in the Deep South- a warm spell right in the dead of winter. We worry about the foliage and blooms- we would rather have blossoms near Easter. Old gardeners tell me that it’s actually a good thing for bulbs to put out foliage- if a killing frost comes through, the bulbs will have extra food to make it until Spring. Who knows if it’s true? Yet, somehow we do manage to have a beautiful show sometime along April or May- though I do recall one Easter when everything was just beautiful then lo and behold! Aunt Snow showed up before we had a chance to get out the bed sheets to throw over the azaleas!  We generally accept that Winter in the Deep South will be like having unexpected company, you know the type, the eccentric, unusual characters. Uncle Duncan Raines is quite a character- using colorful loud language, Uncle Dunc storms in, dropping by for a few demanding hours and then leaves you with a mess to clean up. vintage-burl-and-freesia-2

Or, the unexpected company is like Uncle Burl Frost, who always overstays his welcome. If he brings his sister with him? Let’s just say, we  nevah roll out the welcome mat when Burl Frost and his sister Freesia Butler drop by! Brrrr! It’s a chilling visit! Pipes rattle and freeze when they hear these two coming. Burl and Freesia are considered bonafide nuts! However, the most peculiar and eccentric of the whole Winter clan is- Uncle Gray Ova Caste. He doesn’t say much, so we don’t either. We tell ourselves that Winter’s occasional visits from Aunt Snow are fun, that Frost and Freesia kill off the bugs, we always need a Duncan Raine…it’s just the cold, gray overcast days that dampen our spirits. The doldrums set in when Uncle Gray Ova Caste settles in for a long dreary spell. They say he made his fortune in pharmaceuticals.  After one long stretch of heartbreakingly damp, overcast days, hanging heavy with fog- a friend once exclaimed, ‘If this fog would just lift!’ Uncle Gray Ova Caste is plain depressing, he shows up with heavy footsteps, damp boots and sits there looking dreary. We sit around longing for him to move along. That’s the part of Winter in the Deep South we dread the most, but then there are those clear dark starry nights when he finally drifts away. Without much warning, another warm spell will come along and lift our spirits. The Camellias will bloom, and we’ll tell ourselves that Spring in all of her glory will come by soon. I for one, am longing for it.

Love y’all, Camellia

*Vintage photographs of ‘Uncle Burl Frost and his sister Freesia Butler’ are from old family photographs belonging to Camellia’s Cottage- they were unnamed so Burl and Freesia seemed as good as any!vintage-burl-and-freesia-3

*Also, I would like to say- it’s at times like these that I truly wish I was a better writer and made better use of this beautiful language to convey what Winter is like in the Deep South, but hope you had fun with my folly and unusual cast of characters!

The Stockings…

We have a family tradition dating back to when our daughters were teenagers. Every one of us would purchase five small gifts- of any type to be placed in the rest of the family’s Stockings. Some of the gifts are very nice, some are cheap and funny, even hilarious! Some are useful, Some are not. The mixture has delighted us for years now- in fact, even if we are going on a trip- we take our Christmas Stockings with us and have the exchange. When young folks outgrow Santa’s toys- it is fun to make a little Christmas joy! Stockings seem a good way to surprise and delight every one.  As my gift to you on this wonderful Christmas Eve…a vintage photograph from our private collection! Entitled:

‘The Stockings were Hung by the Chimney with Care’image

I hope Santa brings you everything you ever wished for and more!

Love y’all, Camellia

*Thank you dear friend for sharing this adorable photograph, we love you! Photograph should not be used without permission.