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Find Your Own Calcutta…

Every day, more than once I read these words:mother teresa

‘Do no great things, only small things with great love.’ Mother Teresa

The year was 1994, in a bone chilling month of February- we made our way to Washington DC. As the taxi drove us from the airport past the Potomac, the water was not flowing, it was filled with boulder chunks of ice.  We were there to attend the National Prayer Breakfast at the invitation of our congressman, Glen Browder. Alabama was the host state for the Prayer Breakfast. We were going to be eyewitnesses to this remarkable event. And while this was an amazing invitation- we had also decided to make it a religious pilgrimage of sorts.  We visited the landmark New York Avenue Presbyterian Church where Chaplin of the U.S. Senate, Dr. Peter Marshall, delivered heartrendingly beautiful sermons and prayers, during World War II and beyond. This is a very historical church just 4 blocks from the White House, where more than eight U.S. presidents, cabinet members, congressmen and justices of the Supreme Court worshipped- beginning with John Quincy Adams.  Abraham Lincoln attended services there during the War. His famous Gettysburg Address had coined the phrase ‘One Nation under God’ -more than 80 years later, Lincoln’s address inspired Scottish born  Peter Marshall’s sermon ‘A New Birth of Freedom’, which he delivered on another freezing February day. That sermon inspired Dwight Eisenhower and others to amend the Pledge of Allegiance adding Lincoln’s phrase. Martin Luther King Jr. would later give an impassioned address in this same church. And long after we had come home- this church provided prayer and comfort to the capitol city after 9/11.new-york-avenue-presbyterian-church

We were taken by an official bus and dropped off very close to the presidential motorcade, parked exactly where President Reagan had been shot a few years before.  Ushered in and seated on the front row at table four in a huge ballroom, the room was packed. The security was tight. We listened in rapt attention at the amazing Tuskegee Choir from Alabama. We could not believe we were there, much less on the front row- eyewitnesses to history, why, we were in the presence of national leaders in our nation’s capitol city, along with citizens just like ourselves, however- seated at our table were two missionaries from Japan. When I asked them where their missionary field was- these lovely Asian people said- ‘We believe that the people of the United States need to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ’…To this day, I am moved by the profound love and kindness in that simple statement.

What must folks from foreign countries think of the American people? From the news media to print to music to lifestyle- what conclusion would a person who is not from the United States draw from all of the disagreeable messages we send out across this globe?

The keynote speaker at the 1994 National Prayer Breakfast was Mother Teresa of the Sisters of Charity in Calcutta. The speech was very long- the news media drew from her profound words a few statements and conclusions– when actually Mother Teresa had so very much more to say than what the headlines distilled and became politically charged rhetoric.

I was there, I can tell you firsthand that this tiny woman, Mother Teresa was a mesmerizing figure.  A two step high platform was placed behind the podium and still her head could barely be seen from our tables on the front row. On our tables, along with the program was a bookmark with her words on them- I won’t quote them verbatim due to length- however, I recall being enlightened to the point I am still moved to tears whenever I think of them- Mother Teresa’s words were-

  •  When you see the poor and pitiful
  • When you see the maimed or mental
  •  When you see the  rejected and despised
  • When you see the orphaned or sick
  • When you see the hungry or the homeless…
  • Look into their eyes- ‘You are looking into the Eyes of Jesus’

 ‘When I was hungry you fed me, when I was thirsty you gave me drink…when you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto Me.’

from Matthew 25:35 image

  Mother Teresa’s ministry was among the ‘poorest of the poor’ in the streets of Calcutta, India  The Sisters of Charity literally feed, clothe, pick worms and vermin off the heads of the poor- they clean their stricken bodies, clothe them and put them in clean beds, give them meager bowls of rice or broth; and often hold a quiet vigil as the least of humanity die in the comfort of a clean bed. The Sisters of Charity know they are looking into the Eyes of Jesus.

The ballroom that freezing winter day, was hushed into a reverent silence as she spoke unforgettable words.  We had no idea that this tiny remarkable person would walk this earth only a few more years.Later I read that a nun in New York City begged to come work in Calcutta alongside the Sisters of Charity. Mother Teresa said-

‘Find your own Calcutta. Find the sick, the suffering and the lonely right where you are.’

That is what we all must do, beginning in our homes,  spreading out into our communities, unto those who are outcasts.. even unto the ends of the earth, we must look at a suffering world and see the Eyes of Jesus. interpreted from Mark 16:15

Find your own Calcutta. Look for the Eyes of Jesus. The world is watching.

Love y’all, Camellia

photographs from AOL images, except the bottom one from the wonderful book- ‘Come and See’ by Linda Schaeffer- which we edited.

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Instinct or Fitness…

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I’m just going to admit it- I’m uncoordinated. I will never be good at sports or exercising. Never have been, do not aspire to it.  First of all, going to a gym without at least some color on my face- blush or lipstick -would be sort of horrifying for me. I would hate to inflict that on anyone. I no longer buy swimsuits. I still call them bathing suits-I do not wear bathing suits so as not to inflict my aging body on the general public.  I can wear a cute cover up and have a fine old time. IMG_1398

The last time I tried exercising in a group publically was in an aerobics class at my church at least 30 years ago- it was a disaster– no really, I am not kidding. The building had indoor/outdoor carpeting. I  had on a cute new outfit with socks and tennis shoes. I stood on the back row of a class of 30 women, just in case. I could not get the steps right, I could not shift several steps to the right and hop, flailing my arms around in the air at the same time. I hopped-scooted over…my tennis shoe caught on the indoor outdoor carpet– I stumbled backwards, trying not to hurt anyone or break their rhythm and ended up flinging myself into a whole wall of metal folding chairs. It was not pretty, it was loud with all of those chairs falling like steel dominoes. The acoustics in that room are pretty good… let’s just say this was not a joyful noise unto the Lord.women exercising dailymail.uk

I have tried to explain being uncoordinated for years- especially when folks tell me about steps and swings and all manner of fitness routines. I cannot risk it.  I’m not proud of this.  I have tried walking on a tread mill more than once and more than once have managed to trip and skid off, machine still rolling.women on treadmills vintage

My husband, a person of considerable athletic skill, has known and accepted my uncoordinated style; since as newlyweds he let me go with him on a run…when we got back he said-

  • ‘How ’bout letting me run by myself from now on?‘
  • ‘Why?’
  • ‘Well your feet flap on the pavement.’ Enough said.

I signed up for golf lessons many years ago…the instructor told me at the end of the first lesson- ‘Ma’am, golf just isn’t your game.’ He didn’t offer to return my money…I didn’t ask either.vintage woman golfing

I really accepted my ineptness early on…when I was in college I was required to have a certain amount of physical education.

  • I took tennis.
  • I knew the rules, I aced the written tests.
  • When my grade came out, it was a glaring ‘B’ –
  • I asked the instructor why he had given me a B-
  •  Graciously he said, ‘You don’t have the Killer Instinct.’

Most Southern folks start planning their funerals when they are in their 40’s if not before…Please believe me, I know this- we have a morbid fascination with the process. It could be argued that dyin’ is more fascinating in the South. When I want my husband to listen to anything I am saying – I just have to say- ‘When I die…’ or ‘I want this played at my funeral.’   He listens up.

Recently I was contemplating an extra roll of fat I had found- it’s none of your business where I found it-I was thinking maybe I should give fitness another chance. I’ve got some important tests coming up- my cholesterol screening and BMI. I thought of all the personal risks involved. To exercise is risky for me.  I have decided that having-

Beloved Wife and Mother

She Never had the Killer Instinct

Carved on my tombstone-is sounding better and better all the time.old tombstone- aol images

Meanwhile, before I start pushing up daisies- I’m keeping close to the ground and digging in my garden…

Love y’all, Camellia

The photograph of the tennis player and the swimmer are from a vintage encyclopedia- called The New Wonder World- last copyright- 1941 by Geo. L. Shuman and Co.

The women on treadmills- attributed to an article by Huffingon Post

The golfer, the group photograph of women exercising and the tombstone from AOL images and may be subject to copyright.

 

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Traditional, Eccentric or Colorful…

Southern women are traditional, eccentric or colorful creatures; sometimes we are just one or the other- a straight up Traditional, an Eccentric, or a Colorful Southern woman-though sometimes you will run across an adorable combination of two out of three… If you’re blessed above all others- you will find that exotic Southern woman who is the delightful combination of all three!

Southern women take writing thank you notes, having impeccable manners, paying our respects and dressing appropriately seriously, with an emphasis on appropriate as in Behavior with a capital B.  The traditions of Southern Hospitality are things we won’t budge on too often. A Southern woman would have to have a very untraditional excuse to get by with it.

However, if a Southern woman can pull off a certain flair, well we might call her colorful. She’s the one who can wear a caftan when everyone else has on a cocktail dress-  the one who can go natural and still look good; or can insert very carefully an outrageous word or two. That’s Colorful.

My mother always said my grandmother had ‘radar’ or ESP- ‘You can’t pull anything over on Mimi, never could.’ was one way of putting it…Someone who had ESP or home cures or even weird dreams that could be interpreted and yes, could read minds- that Southern woman is Eccentric…She has her tonics, her potions, her keen mind, her Almanac and her ways. You don’t want to live your life without knowing all three types- or the combinations.

So, let me just say, after you have passed along all of the social graces and insisted they must be followed at all costs or the dreaded label of ‘trashy’ will follow you all the days of your life…After you have done all you can do to train up a Southern daughter– then you can add this delightful rule:

‘Always have at least one friend who’s up for anything.’

Right? Y’all know I’m right. I can hear the applause…

Love y’all, Camellia

This photo was found on http://www.seniorsingapore.com- am not sure of it’s origins, but I think the Cotton Candy ladies are hysterical.

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Foundations…

women in girdles

There was a time when language was carefully and kindly spoken- where even women’s undergarments were called foundations. The vintage photograph shows women of all shapes and sizes beautifully.  Women who were statuesque were admired. I personally think that Margaret Mitchell contributed to this admiration when she had Scarlett say- ‘I’ll never go hungry again!’ The great equalizer after the War between the States was that all Southerners were poor. Struggling through Reconstruction, some held on to their dignity, some got just plain mean, some had never known anything else but being poor- scraping out a living from red clay soil, while the Yankees were in the process of re-building us. Scarlett O’Hara decided to work with the Carpetbaggers, Scalawags and Yankees, and like it or not- she did succeed in never being hungry again.  Southerners developed a distaste for Yankees. My grandmother said it best- ‘I know why Yankees are so harsh- they’re cold all the time and they don’t eat right’. And actually the South does have better food, that’s probably why we struggle with Obesity. I mean when you fry a whole lot of stuff like:

  •  Green Tomatoes
  • Chicken
  •  Catfish and Okra

Well you get the picture. Fried food made inexpensive food just tastes better.

Just when the economy was getting better- 64 years after the war had torn us apart…the Great Depression knocked a whole lot of folks back down. Many in Alabama had always been poor, now it was worse.  I recall asking my husband’s grandmother one time- ‘Is she poor?’ and she answered – ‘Oh yes honey, she’s real skinny’.  Grandmamas was a tall, statuesque woman who wore hats and probably knew a thing or two about folks going hungry. And she fed more than a few folks all the years I knew her.IMG_0531I completely adored her! Our older daughter is named for her. A big part of the foundation of her life was to make sure her table was laden with food, the extra produce was canned and preserved. And while she was a ‘true daughter’ of the confederacy- I never detected the least bit of mean-spirited nonsense in Grandmamas at all toward anyone, I never heard a slang term used by her or about anyone. I wrote in my journal- ‘When Grandmamas hugs me, it is like sinking into a feather bed.’ She was ample, she was generous, she was bighearted. She wrote me five page letters that she called ‘newspapers’, giving me all of the latest triumphs and tragedies from family, friends and community.  It is well known in the South- that

  • Pyrex dishes were filled to the brim- taken to new mothers, sick folks, church picnics and to the bereaved- why, a glass sea of Pyrex dishes could be seen anywhere you went!
  • Roasting pans produced large Hens, Roasts or Hams
  • Iron skillets put forth the sustenance of Southern Life, Fried Chicken or Cornbread
  • Canning jars not only got people through the long winter but added an extra bit of flavor with pepper sauce, jams and jellies, pickled peaches or cucumbers. These were the tools they used to sustain us throughout our lives.IMG_1393

The foundation Grandmamas laid- of tables laden with food- was passed down to her daughters. My mother in law was known for baking a Coconut Cake for anyone who just mentioned loving her cake! She once made dozens of fried pies for the entire JSU Marching Southerners Band Dorm, when our daughters were there! That’s bighearted, abundance! The words- full-bodied, lush or abundant when applied to wines, gardens or buffet tables give the most pleasant mental images. When applied to a woman’s statuesque full figure, not as much. And that’s a shame – there are days when I would love to receive a hug that felt like I was ‘sinking into a feather bed’.  Our Grandmothers were of a genteel generous generation who spoke kindly and made sure that no one, no matter who they were- left their homes empty handed.

Now, I’ve gotten all historical on you because it occurred to me that the Foundation of Southern Food is Big Hearted, Generous and Abundant. And while I applaud the efforts to eat healthy- we can’t deny that much of the move back to all natural fresh food– is not new- it is just newly discovered. Homegrown fresh food was all we had just a couple of generations ago- at least where I come from!

Chicken, Casseroles, Shrimp, Grits, Cornbread and Pound Cake are all big hearted and generous- all make up the Foundation for great Southern meals. Just plain wonderful as they are- still Chicken, Shrimp, Casseroles, Grits, Cornbread and Pound Cakes accept other ingredients graciously. I’ll leave it for another day to expound on these wonderful combinations.

Since I’m being nostalgic today-I recall when ladies and gentlemen spoke with genteel courteous language. The foundation of their lives was rich in the traditions of good manners, speaking well and good regardless of poverty or wealth.  Rough, coarse and common talk is the stuff of honky tonks. Language that separates, tears down or degrades is worthless to  society.  Perhaps we could blend diverse ingredients into polite disagreements and dignified conversations, like a good spicy Gumbo or a comforting Casserole.. I long for it truly.

Love y’all, Camellia

Image of vintage women in foundations- from a wonderful site- http://www.fortieswardrobe.blogspot.com Images of chickens, casserole and shrimp are from AOL images and may be subject to copyright. Image of Grandmamas, kitchen implements, the cornbread, pound cake and grits are from our personal collection.

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Native Neutrals…

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Hotel St. Francis in Santa Fe, New Mexico

Interiors with neutral color schemes are my favorite. They are peaceful, calm and soothing. Perhaps the first lengthy discussion I remember having about interior design was at Bon Secour Bay outside of a restaurant named Meme’s. The driveway into this delicious dive was of whole and crushed oyster shells. I think I might have been 14 years old. My best friend and I got into a hilarious conversation of how we could use oyster shells as décor in the home. We  thought perhaps as salt dishes, beside a dinner plate to hold a few pats of butter, lemon wedges or even as powder room soap dishes; maybe a container by the kitchen sink to hold our rings. Of course it was all silly- but oysters hold a sweet spot in our hearts- where else do you think our love for pearls comes from? And just look at the beauty of the neutral colors found in oysters!

I am a native of Alabama, these are the neutral colors that I love.  A whole color scheme can be found in an humble oyster. Our families had met at Meme’s to watch the shrimp and oyster boats come in at sunset and to partake of some of the most memorable seafood I ever recall. And believe me, if you live in the Deep South- with all of its bayous and rivers, bays, streams and the magnificent Gulf of Mexico-you know your seafood! Alabama Seafood is some of the world’s finest!

Meme’s started out as an oyster bar. Oysters have romantic notions ascribed to them- probably because Casanova was said to have eaten dozens and dozens of the oysters daily. I knew a big ol’ logger named Bud– from South Alabama who had huge burlap bags of oysters brought up to his camp every Friday to feed his men- Bud said ‘Oysters keep their pencils sharp’…I was never sure what he meant by that. I can tell you this- Bud the logger wouldn’t take any prizes for dancing! He would hoist the women up off their feet and haul them around the dance floor like a stick of pulpwood! Oysters have a more genteel word that describes them best- Peacemakers.

Bon Secour Bay is in part a state refuge area, it is a small peaceful town of less than 1000 people, Meme’s of Bon Secour- was destroyed by Hurricane Fredrick in 1979 and was never rebuilt- Alabama Wild Shrimp is a point of pride for the bay area. Bon Secour was originally a French fishing village and it’s name means safe harbor. And isn’t that what we want for our homes? To be a refuge from the storms of life and the one safe place we can count on? Blessed are the peacemakers, the backdrop for all of the colors life brings.

Several years ago, we began renovating…I had always used color– navy, leaf green even peach with blue ribbons or periwinkle blue for girlish bedrooms-always with white trim. I had become weary of so much color, I have after all, led a pretty colorful life filled with colorful people. Colorful is a southern term for…well, a nice way of talking about folks and events that are full of personality and generous with memorable stories. Native Neutral interiors are fabulous hosts for colorful folks!  When the renovation began- for inspiration I turned to our roots-

  • Black cast iron skillets, old kitchen utensils, the Ironworks and Steel Works of Birmingham, white square columns
  • The faded barn board of my husband’s rural farm background, the Coalminers, the Wiregrass region, the rich Black Belt soil, the pale rock of the Appalachians
  • The French linen my grandmother loved, the pearl necklaces, the statuary
  • The marble quarries, the  cotton fields, the Spanish moss draped over live oaks
  • Pale heirloom silver, burlap bags of oysters, baskets and straw rugs, an old map of our county
  • Alabama’s white sugar sand beaches and more shades of white- pearl and oyster.

All serene, peaceful-Native Neutral colors. Camellia’s Cottage is not grand,  renovated and peaceful – she cannot compare with the beautiful Hotel St. Francis in Santa Fe…yet neutrals have a found a home here just as they have in the oyster’s shell.

 

Big Walter is the most peaceful being I know- that sweet feline has even gone along with my Native Neutral interior design scheme! There are no oyster shell soap dishes or a single crusty shell for my ring when I wash dishes- but I’m thinking about it…

‘Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the sons of God!‘ Matthew 5:9

Love y’all, Camellia

Visit: http://www.eatalabamaseafood.com    http://www.mobilemag.com  for more information!

Images are all mine- except for the glorious sunset which was shared by Jeremy Miniard. The images of oysters- on the right- with the oyster knife is from Mobile Magazine and the other two are from http://www.eatalabamaseafood.com The images of Bon Secour Bay and Meme’s are from AOL images