writing – Camellia's Cottage

Posted on October 2, 2026October 2, 2026 by Camellia's Cottage · 4 Comments

The Faithful, Funeral Food and No Devils Allowed…

The Faithful, the Funeral Food and No Devils Allowed!

It’s astonishing how quickly, word gets out that Circle has been Broken. A loved one has passed from this Life to the Next. Before a tear forms, usually before the arrangements have even been made- the Faithful Food Bearers start polishing silver, bringing out the Pyrex dishes labeled with masking tape, all the serve ware, plates, cups and utensils, box graters and cake knives are lined up, even the table layout has been decided. It’s been said that, ‘when words fail us, we bring food.’

The Etiquette of Deep South Bereavement Buffet has it’s own solemn rules. Unspoken codes of conduct. Those who arrange these buffets consider it a sacred duty and it is.

Someone, somewhere is pulling out the best starched cloths for the tables. These faithful servants are the backbone of the community. They know the traditions, the foods, the rules for these solemn occasions. It’s a magnificent display of servanthood. A service for the bereaved family, friends, the community. It’s what they do. It’s the southern way. Live. Die, get Fed.

The Faithful tend to have two factions, the upper end types, who use heirloom silver, footed buffet holders for the casserole dishes, chafing dishes, candelabras, floral displays with tasteful flowers. Then, there’s the down-to-earth types, they use plainer serve ware, the best paper plates and napkins, even cups. The food for the Faithful doesn’t change much regardless of which group. Sometimes both are involved. It’s a beautiful custom. Piney Grove’s facilities often host bereavement buffets, though sometimes the bereavement buffets are ‘At-Homes’, the home of the bereaved. Someone will know which is preferred.

The Faithful are also Food Bearers and Servers. Some work mostly in the kitchen, others serve at the buffet- there’s usually a Matriarch or two watching with an eagle eye. I hate to say it, because their work is so important, but ‘don’t mess with these ladies’. Just do what you’re told, wear something decent and keep your composure.

There are rules for Food Delivery. The Delivery is done by the Food Bearers. They should Never ring the front doorbell and demand to see the family with their offering. No, discreetly deliver the food at the back door or side porch, quietly handing it to the coordinator or a neighbor. Quiet is the operative word. The Food Bearers know to enter quietly. The food should be prepared in advance, in reasonable portions. That includes the meats, the sides and breads.

There are a few Rules here: Examples include-Ham Biscuits, with thinly sliced ham, and tiny biscuits, must be prepared and covered in foil. The Pound Cakes should not be pre-sliced. Some sides may be served individually. And, for heaven’s sake! The Food Servers do not make clattering noises with ice or tongs. Also, Do not try to pile everything on the tables at once- it’s tacky. Servers are supposed to quietly refresh the platters and remove serving dishes that are almost empty. It’s always risky with the choice of Food Servers. We cannot have Mistie Mac wielding a silver cake knife, even if she’s making a valid point. We cannot have Food Servers who hold up the line with too much conversation. Remember the dearly departed, and have compassion on the bereaved family. Grief is often a silent companion. Let’s comport ourselves with compassion and courtesy.

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The Funeral Food Rules

There are many rules concerning Funeral Food. Some of it depends on whether the family is faithful to Piney Grove Church and Cemetery or attend Lone Wolf Lake Church. *Piney Grove tends to be on the upper end of things and Lone Wolf, well.. they have regular dinner on the grounds. I think you get the idea. The main thing is to respect the wishes of the bereaved family. It is a good idea to check in with a family member, so the Food Bearers and Food Servers know what to expect from the facility or the home. One group will want a more formal service and buffet. The others are quaint hometown gatherings. There are usually ‘Martha’ types who know these things, and the right things to do.

No matter where the bereavement buffet is held, there are Rules that should be followed. *You may want to save this portion.

Grief steals the energy of the bereaved. Funeral Food should feature foods that are delicious served hot, cold or at room temperature. This rule alone ensures that the kitchen remains a quiet sanctuary by eliminating the exhausting clatter of pots, the steam of heating food, the physical safety hazard is removed from reheating hot casseroles. Try to remain discreet, as quiet as possible and refrain from outbursts of any kind, in the kitchen or pantry. Yes, it’s a celebration of a life well lived; yet, it is definitely not comedy hour.

When in immediate mourning, throats are tightened, the appetite disappears. Food must be soft and effortless to eat. Dishes requiring knives should be avoided. Everything on the bereavement buffet should be easy to pick up or softly scooped with a serving spoon, even picked up gracefully with a fork or fingers. A funeral repast should be designed around physical preservation, deep reverence, and ease. Please make note of the word ‘preservation’. The Bereavement Buffet could easily go off the rails, just by using the word ‘pickled’ instead of ‘preserves’. There is an etiquette concerning the words we use, especially when it comes to the appropriate bereavement foods.

The Food is where ‘No Devils are Allowed’ This is very important! Please make note of these Food Rules. It is totally inappropriate to serve Pit Barbeque, Chargrilled or Smoked anything, foods that even hint at ‘darkness’ or are overly spicy. This is a short list:

Devilled Eggs- exchange those for Stuffed Eggs. (I know there is practically no difference- still avoid the term.) Devil’s Food Cake. I don’t care is Mary Louise’s mother-in-law made the best Devil’s Food Cake in the county, substitute- Sue Pie’s Chocolate Fudge Cake. *or get permissions from the mother-in-law to rename her famous cake, be prepared to be told ‘no’. A reminder here: No ‘Dirt Cake’ or Mississippi Mud Cake either. Keep away from anything that might suggest a Dark Grave. Stomachs weakened by grief, don’t need Anything that could cause indigestion or curdling, from the mere mention of darkness. It’s just not fitting.

Pickled Peaches. Avoid ‘pickled’ anything. Please substitute with the nicer term- Preserves. If someone wants to provide the Ham? Remind them, it must be Baked Ham, not smoked. Roasted Turkey is nice as well. Definitely not Smoked or Deep Fried. It isn’t the right fit. And there’s this: Highly seasoned dishes are considered a social offense for funeral food. Remember, Funeral Food is meant to signify a peaceful, heavenly journey- a literal heavenly repast.

These rules are to avoid a crisis of ettiquette. Remember do not use any word or ingredient that carries even a hint of the underworld. There will be absolutely nothing with a hint of H-e-double L, insinuated in the food line. There should also be a ban on heavy hickory smoke, fried garlic, heavy onions or strong vinegar marinades. These scents can linger, filling a heavy atmosphere with suffocating kitchen odors. *I don’t care if these foods were ‘his favorites’ or her ‘flavor palette’.. be aware of strong spices or odors filtrating the space of the bereaved.

It might be 95 degrees outside and as hot as the devil’s back doorknob, but there will be only heavenly glory permitted on the bereavement buffet line.

So, what is allowed? Food will be served with quiet reverence. The buffet line can have sweet tea sandwiches as shown above. I know they look festive, the point here is that even the bereaved need to have their spirits lifted, even in the heaviness of grief. Foods need to be soft, easy to digest, not intimidating to eat, instead, the food should be as effortless as possible.

Let’s start with the Dessert Table. Angel Food Cake, Pound Cake, Fruit pies or cobblers, Lemon Bars or a delicate dessert featuring Citrus, like the Southern Lemon Cheese Cake- a rare white layer cake filled with lemon curd.. these desserts act like a healing balm. It’s uplifting. It cuts right through the emotional fog of the day, offering a gentle sunny spark of refreshment to someone who has forgotten what a smile looks like or an Unclouded Day. Speaking of refreshment, make sure to keep any beverages– simple and easy to pour and consume.

But remember: Absolutely no dark connotations. Make sure the Pound Cake isn’t sliced ahead of time, and make sure the cake server is a calm discreet person while wielding a serrated knife for the pound cake and angel food cakes.

The Buffet Line. Pickup Foods first. The key word here is tiny. Tiny Tea Sandwiches, Tiny Angel Rolls, Tiny Ham Biscuits. Heavy mounds of Bread are downright tacky, not to mention it looks overwhelming to someone whose stomach is tied in knots of grief. Tiny portions look manageable, elegant and dignified. Relish Trays. Offer a bit of freshness and crunch. Again, preserves are allowed- nothing pickled or spicy.

The Comfort Foods. These are usually kept warm in chafing dishes. Let there be, Macaroni and Cheese, light as a feather, made with lots of eggs, Softly Mashed Potatoes, if kept warm and smooth. Potato Salad might be going over to the dark side. Summer Squash Frittata Squares are easy to serve, even kept at room temperature. Green Bean Bundles. A bowl of Pink Fluff, a rich cranberry congealed salad, Heavenly Hash and an absolute must, is Mimi’s Apricot Casserole. *Fried Chicken is often served. I find this to be in the iffy category. The pieces of chicken should be small enough to be considered finger foods and should definitely Not be Spicy. Make sure there are spirit lifting foods throughout the Buffet Line.

The Bereavement Buffet table is done with Honor, Comfort, Grace and should be a safe, soothing buffer against life’s harsh realities. A True Work of Heart.

Love y’all, Camellia

*Piney Grove and Lone Wolf churches are fictional. Please note: This is Southern Humor post, mostly from bygone eras.

Camellia has written about many of the foods listed here. Mimi’s Apricot Casserole is a perennial favorite, Green Bean Bundles, Mimi’s Award Winning Pimento Cheese (which frankly is too spicy for a bereavement buffet- though cut the spices down a bit and they’re still wonderful for the Tea Sandwiches shown in the opening photo) Pink Fluff is an odd combination- though it is beloved, Summer Squash Frittatas, Mary Sue’s Lemon Cheese Cake *this is Not a cheesecake, it’s a white layer cake, filled and iced with Lemon Curd.

Posted on August 18, 2026August 18, 2026 by Camellia's Cottage · 4 Comments

Funeral Flowers or Floral Foibles?

Southern Funeral Series Part 1 Funeral Flowers or Floral Foibles?

As soon as the faintest whisper goes out into the community, that a loved one has passed- there is usually a group of ladies who will spring into action. It might be the local garden club, master gardeners, the altar guild or church ladies who gladly serve as marauders or advisors. The marauders scour neighborhoods for flowers and fillers. A word about the Advisors. Please don’t think that word ‘advisor’ is taken lightly. She’s knows what’s Tacky or Tasteful, doesn’t hesitate to let folks know and has given the last word, more times than anyone can count!

Here’s the thing: For any major event in small towns or communities- There are Rules. There are Strong Suggestions and there are folks who definitely aren’t apprised of the Rules or.. well, I hate to say it- either have no taste or aren’t from here. I’m here to let you in on the rules, so you can avoid as many Floral Foibles as possible, with a tip on how to deal with the offensive, if it happens. What you need to know is:

Southern Grief is often expressed with Flowers, especially those meant for the viewing room at the funeral home. In many ways, the size of the arrangements, the floral choices are the Ultimate Expression of Love for the deceased. *Let’s be honest here, sometimes it’s just who wants to get noticed, or feels the most obligated! *Tip: the square footage of the funeral parlor should be taken into account- though it rarely is. Local Florists in small towns can easily be overwhelmed with orders and will gladly accept and work with, the marauders– the Yard and Roadside Flowers, as the Master Gardeners and Garden Club members mobilize almost immediately. Still.

Here’s the first Rule:

The Floral Blanket for the Casket, should Only be Decided by the immediate family. And, these should follow the religious guidelines. Some faiths say that ‘All White’ is Liturgically Correct.

My Mimi was a florist, she wasn’t exactly rigid, though I wouldn’t override her opinions on such delicate matters as the Funeral Flowers or Floral Foibles. Let’s keep the service as respectable as possible or the whole town will be talking about it for years! The Piney Grove Gasette may even include it in the Gossip Column! You definitely don’t want the mourners to be whispering gossip, behind their church fans!

Soo..perhaps, it’s best to start with the Don’t’s:

No oversized Chrysanthemums. If it’s big enough for a Homecoming Dance, with a pipe cleaner monogram, masses of ribbons in school colors attached? Let’s give those a hard pass.

No Gladioli. They’re too spiky and too high and mighty, not to mention- impersonal. Love those on your own time.

No ‘Hot’ colors, for anything- especially those dyed to match Carnations in neon colors. Add to that – No Tropical..anything. It’s just not fitting for such a solemn occasion. Hot or Loud Colors could literally wake the dead.

And leave off the Glitter and Sparkles, Spray Paint or that Cheap Ribbon which always makes a crunchy sound.

While I’m at it- Do Not have Glittered Names or RIP on that Cheap Ribbon. Honestly, is there No Taste left among us?

Stay away from Styrofoam forms of Anything. Guitars, Horseshoes, Anchors come to mind. Those might be sentimental to some , yet, can absolutely ruin the solemn effect we are trying to create here.

*A word here: Let’s leave off the SEC anything. Helmets, Big School Letters, Footballs. Why? the Deceased may have been the world’s biggest fan, but the visitors’ views may differ, and why get an argument started? It completely ruins the dignified occasion.

Finally: No plastic or silk floral displays. Those might be acceptable for the final resting place, but really? We all know, those are going to fade in the heat and humidity of the South. I say, finally with tongue in cheek. Nothin’ is Evah the Final Word here, see below, if you don’t believe me.

I need to insert a Word here: Be careful with highly scented anything. Those loud Lilies and Climbing Jasmine, suffocating. Gardenias can be overdone. The Scents. Here’s rare tip- the Scents should depend on the square footage of the viewing room, it rarely is. Our Southern Mothers, talk about the Loud Scents for Years.

*Folks should be crying over a loved one’s passing, NOT because their sinuses have been overwhelmed! I would suggest you print this whole list out. It’s easy to forget things, when someone dear has left us, as in dearly departed.

I think we are ready for the Do’s of Funeral Flowers: You may recall that the Garden Clubs, even Master Gardeners fan out like a military operation of marauders to collect Yard Flowers, even Roadside Floral Treasures. *We will make note, if there are some exceptions made for the Dearly Departed if appropriate.

Let’s talk about the most prevalent funeral flower- Roses. Yes, the florists will have Roses, however, the Garden brigades will scour for Old, Antique or Heirloom Roses. The most highly prized are Soft, Muted Colors, these will blend well with carefully chosen Florist Roses.

Larkspur and Delphiniums are wonderful-tall, stately. (If you need some height- use these, instead of those tacky glads.)

Yard Flowers are wonderful- for instance, Camellia is the South’s Winter Rose. *remember, the foliage of Camellia is evergreen, as is the foliage of Gardenias. *don’t forget to go easy with the gardenia blooms, they can get loud. Evergreen is the emotion we are going for here. You know, Evergreen, just speaks softly to eternal life.

There are wonderful seasonal flowers- Calla Lilies, Peonies, Tulips and Daffodils. Hyacinths, maybe– the scent of hyacinths can get loud in a small funeral parlor.

What the Master Gardeners excel at, is with the Fillers and the Roadside gatherings. We are talking Queen Anne’s Lace, Ivy, Flowering Branches, Muscadine Vines woven in, Hypericum Berries, Southern Beauty Berries. A little bit of jasmine vine can be woven in, again with discretion for the heavy scent.

Then, there are Herbs. Thyme, Mint and Lavender– be careful with that Rosemary- you wouldn’t want folks thinking of Roast Chicken, while they’re standing in the viewing line! For heaven’s sake!

I’m gonna add a bit for the menfolks here:

Magnolia Leaves are wonderful, they are large, evergreen and the brown undersides give a masculine touch to Funeral Flowers. The flowers could be used, though, don’t forget how large they are! Big ol’ Magnolia Blooms can veer over into Tacky quickly, just a word of warning.

Also, the Roadside Selection Committee has said that, ‘If you’re careful, you could take some heavy clippers and find some Common Thistle, especially nice if Bagpipes will be played, and are blessed with a family plaid.’ All of these suggestions will be welcomed, with slight variations for the menfolks. *Let’s add wild muscadine vines, if available. Not that big fat kind, just the thinner, lightly curled vines.

Let’s return to the unavoidable- Floral Foibles. It’s bound to happen, someone won’t get the memo- they will send a highly glittered floral display wrapped in neon purple net. Or, the inevitable Styrofoam Forms will appear, a horseshoe, a even SEC helmet, an electric guitar shape in loud colors or metallic painted horseshoe. The highly glittered, and Tacky ribbon that’s wide enough for the local realtor’s Open House, even the ‘glowing neon from chemicals’ Carnations wrapped with cellophane- will inevitably Arrive. *I am literally getting a little Shiver of Angst here, not quite a sinking spell, but close.

I settle down when, I realize that: The Altar Guild, the Garden Club President or someone with an imposing title or statuary height and weight- will take over.

They will discreetly push these floral offenses all the way to the back to hug the baseboards of the Piney Grove Funeral Home and Mortuary, the Floral Foibles will never see the light of day. We simply cannot allow these offenses to settle upon the living or the deceased.

The nicest folks will glance at the Floral Foibles-Sigh and say, ‘Well, it’s Interesting.. if you like that sort of thing.’ IF being the operative word.

Funeral Flowers or Floral Foibles? There’s a fine line between Tacky or Tasteful. Please remember this- The Southern Mothers are watching.

They see it in Graveyard Maintenance. Pristine, Dignified – Appropriately Adorned. Approved. Graves that are Overly decorated with Plastic, Styrofoam, Faded Silks and Twinkling Lights or Glaring Sequins- can send the wrong signals and have a whole community gossiping about it for decades! We wouldn’t want that sort of Disapproval would we?

Oh my, like all Southern Rules, these are So Helpful. Again, you may want to print it out for future reference! Keywords to remember- Loud Scents, Tacky, Styrofoam, Glittered Anything, Wide Ribbon with glittered lettering and Square Footage of the Funeral Parlor. Oh me.

Next up in the Southern Funeral Series is Funeral Food. Surely that one will be softer, sweeter, more savory! Who knows, when the Southern Mothers are watching! *be sure to read the special message below!

Love y’all, Brenda aka Camellia

Camellia’s Cottage has been coming to your inbox for 10 Years! Thank you for being here. After all this time-

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Posted on August 5, 2026August 5, 2026 by Camellia's Cottage · 2 Comments

Prologue: The Passing, The Protocols and the Pearls…

Let me say this first, before we dip into the 3 Part Series, mostly from bygone eras, about Southern Funerals. There is nothing funny about Dying. Grief is Real. Loss is a heavy heart burden on the soul; and I respect the solemn occasion of the Passing of Loved Ones.

However: There’s this, Southerners don’t like to say, ‘Goodbye’. And, there are funny things about how our Southern Mothers handle the Passings, the Funerals and the Goodbyes. A Passing is not just a time for mourning, it’s a logistical feat worthy of only three occasions, when a community is spurred into action at this level- Weddings, Christenings and of course, Funerals.

I’m gonna talk ‘southern’ to you for a minute, before I get carried away here.. Southerners will do or say almost anything rather than say ‘Goodbye’. I’m trying to tell you something you may not know. A lot of us, have a superstitious streak and saying ‘goodbye’ is just one of those unlucky things we try to avoid. I end these missives with ‘Love y’all’ – it just seems nicer than ‘That’s All She Wrote.’

If you get me started on the Passings or Funerals. Let’s just say, we have an aversion to sayin’.. ‘He died.’ No, we say, ‘She passed away’ or ‘we lost him’ .. or ‘now that Grandmama’s gone.’ Or- ‘Can you believe it’s been 10 years since Daddy left us?’ It’s confusing, though, Please Don’t Ask- ‘Where did you lose him?’ or ‘why did he leave’ Why? It might provoke a Sinking Spell or worse. One cookbook I have- has a section on Funeral Food– it includes, not one but two recipes for Sinking Spells. Yes, it’s a thing.

We try to find the most ‘delicate’ ways to avoid saying the actual word – Death. There are many ways southerners avoid saying ‘Goodbye’. Whether it’s going home, or to the grave. It’s just so final, you know.

There’s a Social Etiquette, The Rules, the Protocols. I won’t be covering All of these in the upcoming- 3 Part Series. These Protocols are expected to be Enforced with Precision. The Obituary, the Preparations at the Funeral Home, the Final Resting Place. There are always ‘debates and debacles’. Rich Traditions, including the discreet or indiscreet Sympathy Line at the Funeral Home.

‘Where will we sit that special chair for Mama to sit in? You know her ankles swell, and it’s just not fitting for her to stand, in the state she’s in.’ Someone has to be in charge, when we are experiencing these heavy transitions- From the Obituary, Sign In Book, to the whispered conversations, the Viewing, the Fashion Protocols.. let’s Dip in:

“Did you hear? gasp ‘I didn’t’.

Who will be making the arrangements? ‘The service will be held in the old Sanctuary- it was her favorite; with Church Fans. ‘Thank you, Lord.’ *that’s a prayer. The Air Conditioning hasn’t worked since 1984.’ The arrangements will be conducted by the Piney Grove Funeral Home, with Interment in the Founding Members section of the Piney Grove Cemetery.

The Obituary? Oh, I heard her best friend wrote it. She was a columnist years ago, in the Piney Grove Social Section. Famous for her sign off- ‘A Good Time was had by All.’ *surely she won’t add that. Someone said the obituary, ‘will be just like her. Of course, she wanted her final photo to be of her- wearing her Head Majorette Uniform.’ *did I hear a hiss?

‘Well, we All know she dressed like a Dream. Always looked like she stepped right out of a bandbox, but really?’ (voice goes up two octaves) And, why would they say? ‘She enjoyed shopping at Bargain Town U.S.A.’ sigh.. ‘Much less add – she was a strong advocate for Literacy in this county. She even drove the Bookmobile every Thursday for a while.’ *You take major risks with the Obituary Writer.

Then, there are the Pearls and Fashion Choices. Before the first tear falls, the wardrobes must be curated. The Waterproof Mascara that actually works must be bought. And, wouldn’t you know? The first thing you see are the Twins. The twins are older than Grist Mills over the mountain. They decided, of all things, to wear ‘Ivory Silk’ dresses. They always dress alike. Though, really? To a funeral in October, of all things! No, the women’s attire must be heavily starched Black Linen Dresses at a Decent Length. Pearls. Hats are allowed, just make sure yours isn’t so big, that No One can see the Choir Loft because of your Hat!

Dressing the Corpse. There is a major exception to wearing Black. The corpse may wear whatever was her favorite color, though, not Black. And make sure, the color won’t make her look wan and pale under those harsh lights of the funeral parlor, which can cast an unnatural pallor, plus, the lipstick choices must be chosen carefully too.

There’s a thin line between Tacky or Tasteful especially Funeral Tasteful or Funeral Tacky. *I wrote a 3-part series on Tacky or Tasteful fashion choices, several years ago.

Listen in again: ‘I heard her hairdresser of decades will be fixing her hair. No, it won’t be the latest style she wore. She asked for that Pompadour Sweep Over she wore years ago. You know, she was always so self conscious about her height. Still, I hope she will look Natural.’ *They secretly hope she hasn’t asked to wear that fake leopard muff to conceal her hands, folks worry about the hands. ‘Well, it’s better than Earlene Odene telling everybody who would listen- she wanted to wear one of those pretty negligees, Buck had given her through the years’. ‘She’s not Dead, she’s just Sleeping.’ was her motto. They will probably add that to her Tombstone.

If Big Momma isn’t leaving us; it’s the Men we have to worry about. Their Fashion Choices. We make an exception for the menfolks in attendance- Heavy Starched Overalls and his Best Sunday Shirt are acceptable, in some cases. *Maybe he attended Lone Wolf Lake Chapel. Though, wearing that-as a corpse?

Take- PawPaw. He had his ways. The Rules say- his attire must not conflict with the casket. Would he prefer his best Sunday Suit? Or- will they let him wear his Fishing Vest and Plaid Shirt, so St. Peter will recognize him. PawPaw had always said, ‘St. Peter was a fisherman, I don’t think he would mind when he sees me in my fishing vest, at the Pearly Gates.’

The Ultimate Test of Character in a Southern family, is the dividing of the spoils. Watch out for the Sisters and the Aunts while you’re making the arrangements at the funeral home. Make sure, no one, including- Mary Beth, with her sweet face and sweeter smile, hasn’t started dividing up the Jewelry of the Deceased before the cemetery plot is even dug. There’s always at least one who has been eyeing the Cocktail Rings, the Pearls, the Jewels right in the presence of the deceased, for heavens sake! You might hear a whisper. ‘You know, Gertrude always wanted Me to have the emeralds..’ Ruth Ann, pipes up- ‘Well, she promised me those South Sea Pearls, Arnold gave them to her, when he got back from the South Pacific.’

Then, there’s the grandchildren, nieces and nephews. Insisting to anyone who will listen, ‘You know I was her favorite.’ Entirely unaware that Big Momma told every single blood relative, not to mention the ones she claimed kin to– They were her ‘favorite’ just to keep the peace and make sure the grass was cut!

There are two types of Matriarchs that make sure Funeral Protocols are done, and done right- The uppity but precise- Mary Maude Morton, and the cold stone Freesia Faye Butler. Both are in the historical society, some call it the ‘hysterical society.’ They both serve on the Cemetery Committee.

And there’s this: No matter how caring, compassionate and careful Piney Grove Funeral Home is- If either Mary Maude Morton or Freesia Faye Butler, objects-The County Coroner and the State Records and Certificates have been told in no uncertain terms that ‘unless’ Miss Morton or Miss Butler file a written notice that the Proper Protocol has been followed- ‘Do Not. I repeat Do Not issue a Death Certificate.’

That means no one is leaving or passing over the Jordan River, if you get my drift, until Mary Maude or Freesia Faye are satisfied.

There is More to Passing, Protocols and the Pearls. Though, your patience may be wearing thin. So, I want to make sure you know that- Next up is the Three Part Series- Flowers, Food and the Restorative Cocktail.

Love y’all, Brenda

I would add that Writing Humor is one of more than a dozen Writing Techniques I teach, in ‘Writing Content with Confidence’ . Why teach that many? Well, it’s to help you find your Voice.

The Writing Sanctuary is my favorite part of this course. It’s a weekly, private chat group. There is no Zoom, no cameras, no recordings, no mandatory attendance. A Gathering around a Writing Prompt. *enrollees in the course, automatically have a seat!

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Posted on July 27, 2026July 27, 2026 by Camellia's Cottage

Movin’ On…

Is there Anything that says, ‘Forward Motion’ like a Bicycle? I had one bicycle as a young girl, this one looks like it. I tried to back up that Bicycle.. let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty. I might have avoided wheelies and skinned knees, though my clean, almost new Tennis Shoes got scuffed, and the bike tipped over. Yes, with me on it.

I recall telling you that I am Uncoordinated, practically from birth. Okay, by first grade, it was obvious. Sadly, publicly obvious. So, just the Act of Moving can be dangerous for me. And..

I think I recall telling you about Pit Barbeque, though, did I mention Real Pit BBQ isn’t throwing something on the backyard grill? No, real pit BBQ is getting harder and harder to find. And, really: I think those places don’t want New Customers coming around. As a girl, riding in the backseat with the windows rolled down.. the scent of Loblolly Pines, the crunch of an old chert road.. I knew when the scent began to change.. I smelled it. That distinct Hickory Smoke… ‘It’s just on down the road..’ could mean Miles in Alabama. It’s true.

Though, here’s the thing. I’m not taking you on a bicycle ride to get Pit BBQ. I am not even suggesting we take a Car. For one thing, it’s dangerous. Those places are notoriously waay back in the woods.. and I will admit it, I could get us lost. I would have to think about it long and hard.. because learning how to Drive, practically made my driving instructor want to quit his job!

No, I’m movin’ on.

Wait, don’t call the Funeral Home yet! I’m just going to get historical on you, first.

For 10 years, I have been writing Camellia’s Cottage. First, under the pen name of Camellia. My hands literally shook before I hit ‘Publish’. Do you know that feeling?

Back in 2020, we had that pandemic. My voice, as Camellia , began to crack. Stuff wasn’t as funny to me as before. I was concerned about Small Shops and Small Business owners surviving. So, I shifted the Messages here, on Camellia’s Cottage, to Inspiration and Marketing, and there’s this: shhh… the po-lit-ical landscape for southerners was starting to be as hot as freshly poured asphalt.

That’s not my style- to get in heated conversations or into hot water for that matter. So, I kept Writing to You about Marketing- selling what you Do, Create or Offer. *I still do that Weekly in my Newsletter. The signup form is here: Brenda Wyatt.

Meanwhile, expect this here: I’m Movin’ On to a Shift here. I miss writing Southern Lifestyle, Southern Food and Southern Humor. It’s generally ‘bygone era’ stuff. Why? Well, I’m pretty ‘bygone’ myself and to be honest, that kind of writing is nostalgic and funnier.. I plan to write more of that.

I’ve already planned the Funeral. Wait! not my funeral.. I’m not going anywhere. I have more to say about ‘bygone era’ Funeral quirks and customs. It will be at least a 3 Part Series. Here’s a taste of what you will read, in the Funeral Series:

The Flowers. Don’t use Plastic. Do let the Garden Club ladies scour roadsides and gardens. Yard Flowers. Great on their own or as Fillers. Let Uncle Fred sit and fret over the exact shade of Pink Roses ‘she loved’.
The Food. We must talk about the Funeral Food. It’s an Encyclopedia Volume 1 and 2. Let me just say one word. Casseroles. ‘Really, Mabel who would’nt want Elbow Macaroni laid to rest in that egg and cheese custard? Though, don’t you dare add that Cayenne Pepper that Lucille insists on! It’s not fitting, to bring the heat on for the Bereaved, who Do Not, I repeat, Do Not want to even think about how hot the Devil’s Back Door Knob might be!’
The Restorative Cocktail. Now, don’t get up on your abstaining High Horse. I won’t elaborate on this just yet. Here’s the Thing. A discreet ‘after the funeral is over, Restorative Cocktail’, isn’t a Celebration for heaven’s sake! – it’s for Medicinal Purposes only. If St. Paul allowed for it, who are we to question Apostolic Advice? No, siree, we will not.

So, yes, I will be movin’ and backing up carefully towards Southern Lifestyle, Southern Food, Southern Humor. *again, the Inspiration and Marketing Advice will still be in my Weekly Newsletter!

Love y’all, Brenda aka Camellia

Don’t forget to sign up for that Marketing and Inspirational Newsletter!

And, if you’re interested in finding a Writing Community, here’s the one I created, it’s the Writing Sanctuary. I would love to have you!

Remember:

If you sign up- I will never sell your information, I will never talk about you behind your back, I won’t mention that weight you’ve gained over the summer, I won’t even get mad if you unsubscribe.. it would break my heart, though.

Posted on March 22, 2026April 12, 2026 by Camellia's Cottage

Three Things You Need Always

Three Things you Need Always

No matter what you Do, Create or Offer, in your Life or Work.

You need:

Instinct
Intuition
Imagination

The 3 Gifts.

Instinct has the Grit to speak it’s Mind, before you have a Chance to Doubt. Intuition has the Grace to gently walk beside you, nudging you in the right Direction, if you will listen. Imagination is that playful Friend who Guides your Creativity.

These Gifts don’t have to be earned. They are your Inside Voices. Priceless Friends. I’m convinced that at a certain age- we’ve either left these Gifts behind Or.. We have cultivated the friendship and the companionship of Instinct, Intuition and Imagination to guide us toward our next chapter- Our Second Act.

No longer dreaming- Designing a Creative Legacy, whatever form that takes. “Is it too Late?’ I heard you say that. No. These Gifts have always been there.

How to access them- Get Quiet. You will begin to Hear them and have the Grace and Grit to allow them to Guide you.

Instinct, Intuition and Imagination don’t ever Really go away. They wait patiently until we recognize their significance. Then, bit by bit we regain the Trust we need to use them, creatively.

Which one do you like best? Bossy Instinct? Gracious Intuition prefers to guide quietly..until she gets insistent. Or Playful Imagination? She’s usually the life of the Party! I need them All! Why?

Because the ideal is that these 3 Things Work together, for you. For you. By blending the Grit of your lived experiences alongside the Grace of your Inner Guide, you will transform your natural Instinct, Intuition and Imagination into a creative Legacy that speaks clearly to the world and stands the test of Time.

Inside ‘Writing Content with Confidence’ my online course.. It’s the End of Someday.. you know that drawer full of ideas you have? Isn’t it Time that you bring them out? Share them with the world. I hope you will. Check that link to see if it’s something you may want to add to your writing skills. Meanwhile…

I have some News You Can Use!

Where do you think Long Form Writing ranks right now? Consumer interest has it at #1! And, there’s this: Instagram is in the top 5 of Search Engines. Plus, it’s still, the Best Place for new or small businesses to share what they Do, Create or Offer! As Seth Godin said, ‘It’s not about the Stuff you Sell, it’s about the Stories you tell’.

So, keep writing and telling those stories! I’m here to help if you need it.

Love y’all, Brenda

P.S. I have a weekly newsletter, if this is something you would like to receive, leave your email address in the comments Or send me an email – just type NEWLETTER in the subject line at brenda@brenda-wyatt.com

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