How we talk…

2 vintage women

With the advent of air conditioning, the South experienced an influx of Yankees, who either couldn’t understand a word we said or made so much fun of how we talk, that in some circles, Southern folks are still trying to cover up how we talk by using big words or dropping the use of our distinctively regional language. The one thing most of us have not been able to effectively erase is our accent or the way we put words together. I’ve decided it’s the humidity- which naturally slows the speech and causes us to drop the ‘g’ at the end of our words. It would be impossible to try to de-code how we talk in one short lesson without going off on impossible tangents. Why, the average human being would be fit to be tied. So in an effort to de-tangle some of it- Y’all, must understand that while you might think- let’s ‘Go down South’ – If you live here? Nothin’ is down- it’s all up.

  • We wake up, get up, then we make up the bed
  • We load up the washing machine, wash up the dishes, then put it all up.
  • We clean up, sweep up, mop up, spruce up and even perk up the house.
  • We roll up our hair, get dolled up, made up, rigged up and dressed up, before we go Uptown
  •  We gas up the car, pick up Momma, the kids or the cleaning ( we don’t say laundry, just like we don’t say toilet, it’s  a commode, y’all- just don’t leave the lid up!)

Everything is up, even when you’re acting up. Let me give you an example:

‘I’m not making this up, ever since Bobby Joe set up that wide screen TV, he  hasn’t been worth shootin’- Tammy Faye teared up tellin’ it. She said since football season started up– Bobby Joe stays up late with his twin brothers William and Billy, they get likkered  uprevved up, hoopin’ and hollerin’ loud enough to wake up the dead. acting like a bunch of hoodlums! When the game’s over, they leave Bobby Joe sleepin’ on the sofa. Before Tammy Faye can get the house cleaned back up– those boys start up all over again the next weekend. Bobby Joe was always just precious. (Precious is another way of sayin’- At least his momma loves him!)- I tell you, Tammy Faye was wound up tighter than a tick! I like ta-died when she told it right up in Sunday School! We all said, ‘Bless your heart, Tammy Faye, you’ve laid up crowns in heaven.’ Of course we were thinkin’ she needs to get wound up and throw a full blown conniption fit- Never underestimate the value of a conniption fit di-rect from an thoroughly fed up Southern woman!

Oh law, don’t get me started up- I hope you’ve laughed a little and been enlightened about how we talk… and remember- like all good Southern stories, this one is part Truth, part Myth and part Outright Lies…

Love y’all, Camellia

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Hello Darlin’

Classic-Old-Cord-Telephone-2204-mediumHello darlin’, sorry I haven’t called lately, it’s been like the Dew Drop Inn around here! The painter was here for the front door, some teenagers came by takin’ up mission trip money to witness to some folks up in Mentone, the carpenter stopped by and said yes, the screen porch is in bad shape, he’s going to try to work us in between jobs, you know how it is with an old house~ on and on…

Yes, I know I’ve been putting you off, but believe me this bloggin’ is like learning how to practice voodoo and speak German at the same time… Well, they’ve had me doin’ something called word prompts… you know I don’t use words like –  misstep…who says that anyway? Around here they say ‘you can’t mess this up’ or ‘He can’t walk and chew gum at the same time’ certainly not misstep. Yes, I used it in the Green Onion blog post. Those onion roots are already popping up!

For heaven’s sake- I told you it was a word prompt- Boot Camp Word a Day from those Happiness Engineers…they send you a word and tell you to use it in your blog post that day~ on your mark, get set …go!  The next word was incomplete.  The only time I’ve ever said that was when your roommate was sneaking out after curfew, missed so many of her classes she was about to flunk ‘Human Behavior’ and took an Incomplete ~ though Lord knows she was out practicin’ it!  The best I could do with that word was when I wrote ‘A blog is incomplete without great photographs’, I know it didn’t sound right but you have to admit Jeremy Miniard’s pictures sure were amazin’and I knew you would get a kick out of the title- ‘You really need to get out more, darlin” …you say that all the time!

Yesterday I put my foot down! The word prompt was fleeting, Lord, I about died on that one! I just sat there blank, well not totally blank….all I could think of was a Fleet’s to clear you out before you have a baby! I have never heard… not even one southern lady, coarse or common- use the word fleeting…though I will say those Fleet’s…never mind, don’t get me started! I got out the dictionary and fleeting means ‘brief, short, short-lived, quick movement’ sort of like that Peepin’ Tom …what was his name? Lightnin’ that right! Lightnin’ scared the livin’ daylights out of me when I saw his ol’ head reared up outside my bedroom window with the moonlight shining ~ before I could get out a good scream- he was gone in a flash! He was runnin’ down the alley quick as the devil! That’s what the word fleeting meant to me!  Can you imagine usin’ that word for anything? What?

No, I didn’t let them know I wouldn’t be sending in the word prompt – they’re Happiness Engineers, they wouldn’t give me an Incomplete, they’d just send me another word the next day.

The best thing those word prompts did for me was to make me sit down and write a blog post for 3 days in a row- no, I just turned in 2. I felt guilty about it though… Remember when I got the Bible App?  I signed up for a daily Bible reading, was so excited about it and the next thing you know I got busy and missed a day.  They must have ‘unhappiness engineers’ because that bossy Bible App sent me an email letting me know that they knew I had missed a day! I’ve got enough to make me feel guilty without that going on! My face looked like death sucking on lifesaver I was so upset. I put up with it until the third notice.  I’m ashamed to admit it but I removed that App! I can take care of my daily reading on my own thank you very much! I know…don’t remind me, you got a badge for reading yours everyday.

Yes, darlin’ I’m going to do it right now… I’m going to drag and drop your precious face right smack dab at the bottom of the page….yes, honey, watch for it…you’ll love it- glad you called. Bye…love you too!


 

Okay y’all, in honor of Best Friends Week and without further ado…here she is…Allie Mac! My own sweet friend who knows a whole lot more about nothin’ than I do! She’ll have her own page and everything- watch for it!  Love y’all, Camellia

Allie Mac long hair second try                                                                   Allie Mac