Is there Anything that says, ‘Forward Motion’ like a Bicycle? I had one bicycle as a young girl, this one looks like it. I tried to back up that Bicycle.. let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty. I might have avoided wheelies and skinned knees, though my clean, almost new Tennis Shoes got scuffed, and the bike tipped over. Yes, with me on it.
I recall telling you that I am Uncoordinated, practically from birth. Okay, by first grade, it was obvious. Sadly, publicly obvious. So, just the Act of Moving can be dangerous for me. And..
I think I recall telling you about Pit Barbeque, though, did I mention Real Pit BBQ isn’t throwing something on the backyard grill? No, real pit BBQ is getting harder and harder to find. And, really: I think those places don’t want New Customers coming around. As a girl, riding in the backseat with the windows rolled down.. the scent of Loblolly Pines, the crunch of an old chert road.. I knew when the scent began to change.. I smelled it. That distinct Hickory Smoke… ‘It’s just on down the road..’ could mean Miles in Alabama. It’s true.
Though, here’s the thing. I’m not taking you on a bicycle ride to get Pit BBQ. I am not even suggesting we take a Car. For one thing, it’s dangerous. Those places are notoriously waay back in the woods.. and I will admit it, I could get us lost. I would have to think about it long and hard.. because learning how to Drive, practically made my driving instructor want to quit his job!
No, I’m movin’ on.
Wait, don’t call the Funeral Home yet! I’m just going to get historical on you, first.
For 10 years, I have been writing Camellia’s Cottage. First, under the pen name of Camellia. My hands literally shook before I hit ‘Publish’. Do you know that feeling?
Back in 2020, we had that pandemic. My voice, as Camellia , began to crack. Stuff wasn’t as funny to me as before. I was concerned about Small Shops and Small Business owners surviving. So, I shifted the Messages here, on Camellia’s Cottage, to Inspiration and Marketing, and there’s this: shhh… the po-lit-ical landscape for southerners was starting to be as hot as freshly poured asphalt.
That’s not my style- to get in heated conversations or into hot water for that matter. So, I kept Writing to You about Marketing- selling what you Do, Create or Offer. *I still do that Weekly in my Newsletter. The signup form is here: Brenda Wyatt.
Meanwhile, expect this here: I’m Movin’ On to a Shift here. I miss writing Southern Lifestyle, Southern Food and Southern Humor. It’s generally ‘bygone era’ stuff. Why? Well, I’m pretty ‘bygone’ myself and to be honest, that kind of writing is nostalgic and funnier.. I plan to write more of that.
I’ve already planned the Funeral. Wait! not my funeral.. I’m not going anywhere. I have more to say about ‘bygone era’ Funeral quirks and customs. It will be at least a 3 Part Series. Here’s a taste of what you will read, in the Funeral Series:
- The Flowers. Don’t use Plastic. Do let the Garden Club ladies scour roadsides and gardens. Yard Flowers. Great on their own or as Fillers. Let Uncle Fred sit and fret over the exact shade of Pink Roses ‘she loved’.
- The Food. We must talk about the Funeral Food. It’s an Encyclopedia Volume 1 and 2. Let me just say one word. Casseroles. ‘Really, Mabel who would’nt want Elbow Macaroni laid to rest in that egg and cheese custard? Though, don’t you dare add that Cayenne Pepper that Lucille insists on! It’s not fitting, to bring the heat on for the Bereaved, who Do Not, I repeat, Do Not want to even think about how hot the Devil’s Back Door Knob might be!’
- The Restorative Cocktail. Now, don’t get up on your abstaining High Horse. I won’t elaborate on this just yet. Here’s the Thing. A discreet ‘after the funeral is over, Restorative Cocktail’, isn’t a Celebration for heaven’s sake! – it’s for Medicinal Purposes only. If St. Paul allowed for it, who are we to question Apostolic Advice? No, siree, we will not.
So, yes, I will be movin’ and backing up carefully towards Southern Lifestyle, Southern Food, Southern Humor. *again, the Inspiration and Marketing Advice will still be in my Weekly Newsletter!
Love y’all, Brenda aka Camellia
Don’t forget to sign up for that Marketing and Inspirational Newsletter!
And, if you’re interested in finding a Writing Community, here’s the one I created, it’s the Writing Sanctuary. I would love to have you!
Remember:
If you sign up- I will never sell your information, I will never talk about you behind your back, I won’t mention that weight you’ve gained over the summer, I won’t even get mad if you unsubscribe.. it would break my heart, though.
Valentine’s Day is a veritable mine field of a holiday. I’ve interviewed a good many women who report feelings of depression, unfulfilled expectations and outright anger after this day of love. Valentine’s Day is fraught with problems for Southern men. Why? Because the south is a matriarchal society. Southern mommas take care of all the gift buying, the decorating, the meal planning, the teacher gifts, cookies and cupcakes and all of that glitter strewn around from card making- even cellophane bags stocked in at least 3 different sizes, perfect for goodie bags for? Every. Single. Occasion known to mankind. We might let men think they’re in charge of… say, the Deep Fried Turkey for Thanksgiving but it’s a woman who has the back up roast turkey just in case his fryer catches on fire! 
Weddings have always been a big deal in the South, so you have to know Southern Mothers are reading everything they can get their hands on about the Royal Wedding…You see, we crown our daughters for everything known to man. It’s that royalty thing, I guess…
I have not read one word about the royal bride’s going away outfit! Why would any bride in her right mind give up an excuse to have another outfit? Are Going Away Outfits out of style? Surely not! If there’s no Going Away Outfit to round out the write up in the paper… ‘The Bride and Groom have planned a honeymoon to Chattanooga.. ( Atlanta, New Orleans or Jekyl Island). The bride wore a worsted wool suit that matched her bridesmaids dresses, the groom wore… after their honeymoon, the happy couple plans to make their home in…’ Do you see what I’m talking about? With no Going Away Outfit, there isn’t a decent way to end the write-up in the newspaper! Whatever happened to good write-ups anyway?
She married in mid March, so she wouldn’t graduate before her wedding- now, really can you imagine, planning a wedding and making the outfit and all of the rest of it? A dear friend and member of the wedding party, found the perfect two tone leather shoes to match at Kessler’s in downtown Birmingham. Ultimately, she had an orchid corsage and matching handbag to boot! She blushingly recalls that her wedding night peignoir set was white- okay, what other color would it be? So was mine! High neck, lace insertion- literally the whole nine yards…but I’m getting off on a tangent. Another friend married close to Valentine’s Day so her Going Away Outfit was American Beauty Red, she’s been married 35 years and still has her Going Away Outfit- okay…not the skirt but the jacket! The other smiling bride wore a medium green linen suit, while her new husband was decked out in striped shirt and casual pants! Now, why, may you ask was this Going Away Outfit considered necessary?
A box of wedding cake, cheese straws and toasted pecans is handed through the window. The happy couple smiles for one last photograph. Etiquette dictates the guests should stay until the couple leaves for their honeymoon… Sighs are heard among the crowd… ‘I thought they’d never leave!’
It’s a known fact that Southern Mothers dote on their menfolk and children. Wait a minute, it’s more accurate to say- Mothers tend to dote on their sons, but advise their daughters. All. The. Time. Especially when it comes to dating. It is highly important for Southern girls, because their daddies have made them believe that no one- I mean in no uncertain terms, is good enough for their daughters.
Southern mothers on the other hand, know what’s good enough for their daughters and what’s not. Okay. Here’s the thing… at some point the mother’s gonna have to write out an Engagement Announcement. For heaven’s sake and the surrounding communities, it better be a good one! For instance, when she asks- ‘Does he have a job?‘ a Southern Mother wants the answer to be an unequivocal ‘Yes’ even if he has a trust fund. As long as he has some gumption and it’s honest work, she can make the best of it-
And if he has the semblance of a Last Name for a First Name, a Southern mother can get a decent write up for the paper. If he doesn’t have a Last name for his First name he’s probably a Yankee or a Redneck. It doesn’t matter if his granddaddy was as crooked as the Mississippi River, a Southern Mother can overlook and explain it as a colorful eccentric background.. Now, if the young man in question is a descendent of Buster Crabbe- his rugged good looks might have translated into Tarzan on the silver screen then, but a Chest so Hairy it comes up out of the neck of his shirt? That is completely unacceptable. If his hair is like Conway Twitty or Willie Nelson, she will charm him right out of wearing it like that- Put him in a Navy Blue Blazer and Khaki Pants and no one will ever know the difference.
Camellia's Cottage 